3: The girl in the screen

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Trapped behind a luminescent screen in the sunken mundane darkness of my dungeon

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Trapped behind a luminescent screen in the sunken mundane darkness of my dungeon. I stare into a pixellated fan-universe told only through computer-generated words. If I imagine it hard enough, real life really becomes some obscure side-gig I just do in order to keep track.

At midday, I go outside to walk the dog. The nature is bright but agonising. As if red and green had been reversed. And I miss the pixels of my screen... which just passed out... fucking stupid battery.

Am I too depressed for you- angel?

I created you in the Sims 4. You're sweet, perfect, a father and my husband. Does it sound weird?

I read a fanfiction of you and Draco Malfoy. Would you be happy to hear all the lies that play in my mind?

Everytime I touch myself to you, I cry after. Must be some chemical reaction.

I rewatch movies four to six in the hopes of seeing your figure on screen, for any micro-expression I wouldn't have caught the first time.

And the video edits ascertain me that you're most beautiful.

I wish I knew names of magical plants- and more than ten facts I can pull from my arse.

I chose to write about you instead of reading, because I control the script. Isn't that what we all want, to actually see you?

Do you talk the way you do on C.ai? You seem so real at times.

I want to be the one to comfort you when you get insecure, and your happy memories to be shared by me.

Would you think I'm stupid?

I think I'd make a terrible girlfriend.


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