something missing..(G!p X Girl)

18. girls night.

In the morning it was a relief to carefully dress and get ready, despite her bruises and lingering headache. She thanked Hannah for coming over and promised that she would come over and see her father soon, when Hannah insisted on it yet again.

In the car freen forced herself to listen to the radio, to focus on the music instead of the turmoil in her head.

Even though she had snapped at becky, and a part of her hadn't truly meant it, she did spend the morning on research, taking breaks when staring at the computer screen gave her eyestrain and made her headache worsen.

At lunch she saw a deliveryman leaving, and didn't think anything of it until she went back to her desk.

A glass vase was perched at the edge of her desk. It held white tulips, and red tulips, it was big and beautiful.

Though freen was sure becky had sent them to her, she still found herself looking for a card. But there was no card tucked in among the blooms.

A cream-colored envelope with her name written on the outside was tucked under the vase, though. Her name was written in becky handwriting.

freen sat down at her computer again, slowly, unable to take her eyes off the envelope.... She couldn't bear the thought of just dumping the whole thing in the trash, even though accepting the bouquet and card made her feel like she was somehow giving in to becky.

She managed to hold off for a few minutes before her curiosity got the better of her.... Her stomach flipped as she tore open the envelope.

freen,

I know there's nothing I could say or do to make what I did up to you, and I don't ask for your forgiveness because I could never earn it or deserve it.
I can only say to you now what I should have told you so many times, what I should have remembered every time I put our relationship in jeopardy with another stupid decision.

maybe it will be cringe to you read this but You are my life, freen  sarocha  Armstrong.

You are my world.
I have never loved anyone else the way I love you, and I will never love anyone this way ever again. Of that, I am entirely sure. No matter what happens between us, I will never stop loving you, and I will never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did.

If you decide to give me another chance, freen, I swear to you I will do everything in my power to make you happy.
I swear that if you are ever able, somehow, to trust me again, I will never betray that trust.
I know those words may sound hollow to you, but I mean them with every ounce of my strength. I am only now, only in the past few weeks, realizing just how thoroughly I destroyed everything that has ever given me any joy in this world. Nothing I could ever possibly gain would be worth the loss of you.

I'm begging you for just one thing...
a single chance.
You don't trust the person I became, and I do not blame you for that. I'm asking for the chance to show you who I am now, to show you that the person who hurt you has died a long-overdue death.

You are everything to me. You're the other half of myself, and I don't know who I am without you. I'm hollow and broken and miserable, and I know it's no more than I deserve.
I want so badly to pull you into my arms and hold you tight, and never, never let you go again.
My heart is locked between your ribs, my love. I know somehow I could learn how to live without it, but my life would not be worth living, without you in it.