𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 (𝟐𝟏+)

chapter 4

Childhood should be carefree enjoyed by playing out in the sun, not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul
Uknown

I'm back in the basement , the darkness is suffocating it reaches out like hands and it's gripping my throat to prevent the flow of oxygen.

"You're weak and pathetic rosa" I see my father holding someone in his grip the darkness cloaking her face it's not until I move further that I see an eight year old me being dragged my the person I called father.

I could see the bags under my younger eyes the tears falling like a broken dam "you need to face your fears " my father said lovingly if I was a stranger to his abuse I would have believed he was doing it for my own good but I know too well.

He pushes me inside the metallic doors of the basement but I keep a powerful grip on his arms as much powerful as any eight year old girl could which just earned me a slap from my father  I could see my head duck and my lungs no longer able to exist without air but it's not until I don't feel any pain on my cheek do I realise I'm just a spectator,im just an audience for my abuse nothing more and nothing less,it's not  real I tell myself again and again until I bring my head back up taking deep breaths.

My younger self looks more miserable than she let's out to be  she's on the floor her upper lip is cut perhaps the force of the slap, and I look as my father walks round her circling dangerously not like a predator but like a demon his walks are too calm and calculates to be a predator his intents are too obvious to try to devour me I'm not his prey, I'm just his daughter his self replica an object he had to mould and play with.

He circles dangerously around me I could see my younger self backing away obviously trying to use the bloodied table as a wall of defense but she should know, she should have realise that it never worked it only brought out his dark side quicker, he loves the hunt , he was addicted to fear and I was the one who could grant him the amount he pleased.

"You're going to stay here and think about what you've done " he says "I'm sorry, please forgive me " my younger self say it's always been me apologizing whether at fault or not, its always been facing the consequences of things I haven't done.

I could see my father laughing he takes pleasure in watching me beg for something I haven't done he then moves closer to the door going outside leaving me in the dark with only the small light emanating from the open door"if you try to move I'll kill. All of them "

"There's nothing in the dark " were his last parting words before he left me and shut the only reflection of light from coming in .

But he should have known the darkness is where demons usually reside in, darkness is a creator of nightmares , I saw her "I could see tears streaming down my face, I could hear the deep inhale of breaths she took rather quickly, I could see her head movements looking for someone or something to put her out of her misery " I could feel myself going through a panic attack and all I could do was watch.

I became what my father wanted me to became a spectator and observer in my own life "I could see the darkness threatening to suffocate her, her heart beat started thumping louder and louder like an adrenaline not wanting to wear off , the breaths became forced she wasn't sitting upright anymore she was on her back her hands holding her throat as if trying to aid the oxygen in, at that time I felt like her " I felt disconnected from the world I couldn't even hear my own heart beat but I knew I was still breathing, I knew the world wouldn't let me die that was a privilege I would never enjoy

But I feel hands at my neck and when I looked up I could see my father hands this time I felt. Air trying to force their way into my lungs while my father continue choking me. I tried to use my hands to escape to claw him to punch him any thing but it never worked I could see my younger self looking at me she was saying something trying to relay a message to me but it was too late as the darkness had carried me away and I lost consciousness.