He Hates Me Or Does He?

PART 31: A THOUSAND LETTERS

I rush back to the library and with all that heat that I had to absorb today, I laid down and slept for 2 hours.

I wake up with a call. I check my phone and there are 3-4 missed calls from Aadarsh. His message reads: Meet me at eve. All your cousins are coming for tea today.

I leave my room at 6 for the tea. When I come outside the guest house, I notice that everyone is already seated in the garden with tea and snacks already served. I see everyone but Ahana is not there. Sad because I wanted to be with her today and ask her what happened last night.

I meet everyone. Everyone is in their usual attire and it looks like they have just come for the tea. Aashna Di hugs me tightly. " I enjoyed the way you were yesterday. Infact, we all enjoyed it so much. The drunk Anika with all her bubbly acts."

" Yea but maybe you should control your drinking Anika." Says Sanjana Di.

I guess I should. The reason that I drunk that much yesterday was maybe because it made me forget all about my anxiety. I guess that's how one becomes a drunker. When one wants to just escape the reality. But that's a literal bad thing and I won't do it ever now. I feel terrible already since morning.

" Yeah just sit down." Says Aadarsh pointing at the chair beside him. I followed.

" I don't tolerate my employees drinking here so please put that in your mind." says Vihaan seriously. Yeah okay like I wanted to.

" You know what let's uncover why we are here today." Says Sanjana Di passionately.

" Please do." Says Vihaan smiling.

" Tan tanan". She takes off the cover from all the dishes that are on the table. " We all made all of together."

So there's onion fritters, loaded fries, White sauce pasta, garlic bread, sandwiches and small cupcakes. I am amazed by the variety.

" We all made it together since we all wanted to have a good time. The wedding is already approaching and we just wanted to have a really good time so we made all of this. And also to showcase our cooking skills hehe." Says Aashna Di excitedly.

" Well I am stunned with the varieties. I can't control so shall we?" He asks teasing Aashna Di. She nods in a shy manner. I can smell something here but it doesn't appeal me tbh.

We all get so involved in eating that we actually forgot to talk for few minutes. The homemade snacks were absolutely scrumptious. I enjoyed every bit of it. We did our chit chat for another one hour but I realise that I have to cover my work also. All the bhaiyas have already left since they have to get back at their shopping for didi. Anjali Di and her sister has also left. Aashna Di, Sanjana Di, Kalpana, Vihaan, Aadarsh are the only ones who remain now since we are so engrossed with the talks on singers. I haven't heard Aadarsh talking sensibly since so long.

" I have to get back at my work so please excuse me. These snacks were so tasty let me tell you my sisters. You all are one of a kind." I say smiling.

" Yeah you with your work again." Says Aadarsh doing his little eyeroll thing again.

" I can't help it you know. I have my boss sitting right here and he won't allow me taking another leave." I say in a fun way.

" That I won't." Confirms Vihaan.

" When was the last time you cooked something for me?" asks Aadarsh in a tough mood. He leans forwards and asks " or should I ask have you ever cooked for me Anika?" He asks.

I feel that he's just trying to play me in front of all these people. " Well I can go and boil water for you right now." I say teasing him a bit.

" You think it's funny. Do you realise that all this time, I haven't seen you cooking for me even once as an act of love while I try to do everything for you that you ever wished for." He asks looking at me sharply. What the fuck man? Stop lying already. Only if he had nothing to do with my father, I would have slapped him right here.

" Well I have I guess. I don't think there's only one way to show love. I have had my own ways." I say politely again.

" Your own ways like what. Just breathing huh?" He asks being really mad. This jerk is bipolar for real.

" Noo. Like writing for you. I haven't wrote this much for anyone but you. I wrote so many letters for you. Don't you remember." I say trying to bring his senses back.

" Oh to the hell with your letters and diaries. If I had those letters with me now, I would have burnt them in a single flame right here in front of you. That's what their value is to me." He says with anger filled in his eyes. That's how fearless he has become now, that he can say this all in front of these people.

At this, I am just speechless. The traumatized past is all I can remember right now and the dizziness hits me again. I start breathing slowly trying to make my head make sense. I don't have the guts to see anyone right now so I sit there looking down at my hands picking dirt out of my nails.

" Calm down Aadarsh. You.." Says Sanjana Di.

" Yeah Calm down Aadarsh. She's doing what she can." Says Aashna Di calming down Aadarsh by patting on his back.

" But you see, it's not about writing letters. It's about what I want from my partnership in a relationship. Not even once Di, not even once has she cooked for me. I see my friend's girfriend doing that to their man all the damn time. And here, I have never even tasted a salad of her hand." He tries so hard to convince everybody with what he did.

" I understand. She will cook for you okay." Aashna Di Says comforting him.

" Will she... gibberish gibberish......."

I can barely hear anything at the moment. My ears are closed. My head is spinning. My hands are cold and sweaty again. I can feel my hands and legs trembling. My legs feel like they have been running since last hour. I continue picking dirt from my nails even if there's nothing. All I can think about is those times, when I used to write for him thinking that he will love them and love me better for it. It was all false. It has always been false.

I see Sanjana Di patting me calmly. Vihaan stands up. I look at him to see what he has to say. His eyes are already at me. " It was not coffee Anika." Vihaan says calmly and leaves.

Just that. Just one sentence. Why is he not comforting me? Why did he not say a thing to Aadarsh? Why is he not saving me anymore from my anxiety? Why can't he take me out from this like he did? He knows what the reason is then why not? Why Is he not telling me the new ways to cope with this? Is he not concerned about his employee anymore? Why has he left?

But why am I expecting so much from him. At this hour of my misery, I can't decide what hurt me more, Aadarsh's disrespect or Vihaan's ignorance. At this hour of hardship, I have dual realisations with me that I can never cherish the man I am supposed to be in love with and I have fallen for the man I was never supposed to fall for in the first place.