uhmm. . . 0_0? pano ko kaya to sisimulan.. sige ganito papakilala muna ako. Im Albert Toledo, 19 of age, and i lived in . . . wait! tae parang preschooler lang ah.tss . . . Im not a writer by the way Im an "VISUAL ARTIST".Im a trainee in an studio whom made the "DAYO" (sosyal nu:) ). But as you can see and as you can read my naisulat akong akda:) and here all my feelings will be read by you.tsss korni.okay, ganito. somebody describes me like this " emo,atheist and close-minded"
Im a literally an emo, through hairstyle and other stuffs that can describe it.I have also a cut in my wrist and also tried killing myself many times.But though im like that,a single tear never feel down in my eyes as far as i know.Im also an atheist, a hardcore actually.I cant write nor speak his name.I dont even pray and go to church. Maybe im not a believer but i never became a sinner.And now being close-minded. . . . nah! no comment :P
All those comments of being an "emo,atheist and close-minded" came from somebody who always call me "jerk.stupid,abnormal,weird,weak,poor, and PANGET".But this somebody also the somebody who make me realize how beautiful the world and life is,so i should stop lurking myself in loneliness and sorrows.But shes also the one that made me cry always.She also introduce me to the Might being."GOD".see i can write it and also i can say it straight ng hnd ngbu-buckle :).she made me simba din too.Being close-minded? we always fight because of that but at the end Im the one whose on my knees and begging for her forgiveness.This somebody became my Someone now.My only love. My "PRINCESSA". And the best part she fell inlove with me too :P
Were not the normal lovebirds like everybody is. why? hmmmm. okay, we're weird couples. We do have different likes and dislikes,as well as sa ugali, we're totally opposite in every aspects.hahahah . But its not weird right? these are the weird ones, shes the girl in my dream whom i started dreaming of since i was a child,hmmm around 6 years old i think.Also the rain whose always present everytime we were together.And the weird things i see. okay. I CAN SEE DEAD PEOPLE AND SPIRITS ..and also facing so many problems that a normal gf/bf ay hindi pa dapat kinakaharap :/ .Gonna tell more of it sa susunod kong Akda " LOVESTORY ni PANGET" (kung my time at papayag si princessa) but for now eto muna.
This "Akda" is about me. My feelings and things na ginagawa ko habang im waiting for my Princessa's return.Shes now in Manila having a month long vacation.I decided to write it down because this is my way of coping up sa sobrang pagkamiss ko skanya :( Im missing her so much that it is killing me,literally T.T
. . . . . . . . .okay, time to read na nga.Im already crying nanaman. tssss. Napupuno na ng luha keyboard ko.0
by the way Diary ko po toh kaya dont expect ng sobra pa.. sa diary:)
MARCH 31 2013
I woke up early,i guess its around 3am, TAke a several wink, stretch my arms and legs,and take a slight pinch in my cheeks.It is an ordinary day for everyone else,But not for me. It is the day my "Princessa" will be leaving here to have a month long vacation in Manila,in her Auntie's house.
I get up,fold the blanket and the bedsheet,carry it with my pillows and put it in the cabinet. I rush to the kitchen wherein my phone's batteryis being charged,overcahrged nanaman. haha. hinihintay ko na lang na sumabog bago ko palitan :P.Put it in my phone and voila ready to use na.I opened it, "vrrr! vrrrr!" the vibrating sound everytime i recieved a message. " 16 messages" from yesterday whom i dont opened yet,a late evening greetings and messages from her.Shes already awake,excited masiyado?? :\ "click click" [ call princessa?] this phrase is being displayed in my phone's screen.It will only take 0.001 seceond to call her but it take me a couple of minutes before i decide to call her na talaga." ring! riiiiiiiiiing!" [the number you have dialled is busy in the moment,please leave a message after the beat. toot].natulog ba siya ulit?busy na ba siya?nakaalis na ba sila?.And for an unknown reason my tears start falling,falling and falling. I dont know if i can take it. Yung naririnig ko siya na umaalis.Few minutes have passed 'till i decided to call her again " ring! riiiiiing!". "Hello?" she answered it "Papunta na pala kami kina Auntie" talking to her in my normal voice but at that very moment my tears still keep on falling. We talked for around $ minutes and stop it kasi pupunta na sila kina auntie niya. tae ulit ulit. redundancy..After the call i texted her.[aalis ka na talaga nu?tuloy na talaga T.T ] .[OO], yea shes like that replying in the very shortest way that possible.We texted until she gets there, "click click", "ring! riiiiing!" I called her again, we talked for around 6 minutes and its time to leave. "Pasakay na pala ako ng kotse" and at that very moment, i cant helped it,I cried. Though im already crying na:( "wag ka na umiyak" and when i heard it,i cried a lot more. Im calling her but i cant speak because my mom might hear me.I just cry.
[last call] I texted her, [cge] she texted back. "ring! riiiiing!". In a ormal tone "Princessa, ingats ka ah,Ingats kayo. Yung mga bilin ko sayo ahh sundin mo,Maghihintay ako sa pagbabalik mo" still in the normal tone. " ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU (keep on saying this for around 3 minutes0 and i already broke up, and started crying but still keep on saying "ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOUILOVEYOU (for around 3 minutes as well,while crying)"IREALLYDOLOVEYOUPRINCESSAKO" my final message before the call ended "Toot!"
Lokong luha to ayaw tumigil and i guess it lasts for 10 minutes or so.Natulala ako. Natigilan. I stand up and decided to do the home chores to make myself busy. Around 10am i finished it all andmy sister saw me,doing and finished the whole thing.She approched me and put her right hand in my forehead " May sakit ka?0_0?heartbroken ka nu?" i know she only want to make me happy but i cant.I cant hide the loneliness taht lurking inside me.It is so heavy that in an instant i know i will be crying again. :'( I dont want people around me to noticed it so around 11am after i ate i decided to go to sleep. I have a hard time sleeping,because everytime i closed my eyes i can see her image clearly and the pillow im hugging feels like im hugging her,my eyes are shut but it cant stop tears from falling. I dont know how long i've been like that,because the moment i know im asleep.
Its around 4pm i woke up,I stand at natulala.Walk to the kitchen and natulala. I know, somebody is talking to me whom i dont know if its my mom,my dad or my sister because ako ay natulala.Been like that till i decided to go to the centro for a stroll.Many people busy chit-chatting,walking,happily laughing,etc. They're all busy and seems enjoying themselves.While me,passing them by na nakatulala.I sit then for a few moments after that i will stand up and start walking again. Sit and stroll. Stroll and sit. Been like this till 6pm i decided to go home because im expecting i can call her,because thats the thing we both agreed on,7pm-hanggang magsawa kami maguusap.But expect the unexpected. I cant talk to her kasi may pupuntahan sila. Nakausap ko din naman siya, but it has a certain feeling na she have no interest talking to me. Ako,eto tampo mode:'( [cge matutulog na ako] i texted. [ganun,ok] she replied.O_O?? [un lang reaction muh?] i texted back. [anu gusto mu sabihin ko?] she replied. Yun di nalang ako nagreply. It was been almost an hour ng nagsabi ako ng goodnight,But till now no "goodnight" nor "sweetdreams" from her.:( So i decided to call her though my mom would get angry if she caught me calling someone. and also i know its already late,just want to hear her voice before i go to sleep."ring! riiiing!". "hello?" in a very lively voice. I cant talk back so i texted her nalang while calling while shes answering it in the call.(a weird way of conversation through phone.tatak panget at princessa lang) She's introducing me to her cute 9 years old pinsan.I feel happy and flattered.Oh come on napaparanoid ako na hindi naman pala dapat.
Siguro nakokornihan at na-o-oa-an na kayo sakin.Siguro sinasabi niyo sa sarili niyo " One month lang naman big deal masyado". Maybe if were ordinary lovie dovie couples,but not. A day with her is a year worth of moment to remembered and 30 looooooooong days without her is a 30 years lost moments :-\
........ sleep na and with a smile :-)
