Vince

chapter 7

Amaya POV

„come closer", he mumbled, pulling me into his chest. „I have to get up Nick", I laughed and rolled out of his grip.
„No you have to be with your fiancée Amaya", lazy eyes wandered over my body.

„I really have to get u-", he interrupted me with a kiss. His tongue forced itself into my mouth, he was pulling at my lower lip as he was grabbing my waist; „you have to get on top of me"

I was just placed on his lap as his phone rang. Nick let go of me and pushed me off of him. „Hames- yes exactly"

He got up and left the bedroom while I was still in the exact position my body met the mattress. When did my loving boyfriend turn into the man who pushed me off and left the room without looking at me?

And when did I become the woman who wasn't surprised when he acted like that?

***

I'd been studying in the kitchen the whole day as he appeared out of nowhere infront of me. „Where you been Nick?" 
The way the man who was supposed to love me looked at me broke my heart.

„It's none of your business.", his tone cold.
„It's none of my BUSINESS?!" I guess the recent months, my increased stress level, the upcoming exam. Everything combined caused me to loose my temper; „None of my fucking business?! Nick we are supposed to be a team. I am your fiancée, I am going to be your wife and yet you still call me your girlfriend if we are in 7th grad-"

„Babe it's not that deep." He opened a bottle of scotch.
„What is up with you and that damn alcohol" He tipped the first glass down his neck.
„And do not call me babe as lo-" my voice broke.

Nick stood there, filling his glass for a second time, not bothering to even look at me. It was like I wasn't existent.

I was invisible.

Where had we gone wrong to end up like...this? Where had I gone wrong to loose him to that version of himself?

I decided to leave without a word instead of making him mad with my presence. I made it halfway to our bedroom as he called after me; 

„Oh so you just screamed at me and now YOU are crying and leaving? That is not how you are supposed to threat your husband.." right after the bottle crashed on the kitchen floor. 

I couldn't move I stood there looking over my shoulder. Silence. Two breaths. Then I heard him move..he started running toward me. As adrenaline rushed trough my veins my legs carried me to our bedroom. I managed to shut the door behind me seconds before he bumped into it. 

I locked the door. „Amaya Babe let me in!"

„No."

„I said let.me.in", he took a deep breath; „come on baby please..I want to apologize okay?"

The next thing that left my troth was a sob; „you are lying"

„No I am not..Babe please."

I didn't react..

„Amaya drop that fucking attitude and let me the fuck in." He started beating against that door, threatening to take it out the door frame, called me ungrateful and then repeated the progress.

After good 30 minutes I climbed into bed and cried myself to sleep as his voice slowly faded and he fell asleep on the other side of the door.

***

Was I dreaming?

The smell of fresh coffeee and scrambled eggs tickled my nose. it was knocking again. So I wasn't dreaming..

„Are you hungry? I made breakfast.." he sounded so vulnerable, I just wanted to pull him into my arms and tell him everything would be fine. I loved this version of him, the version that right now after I opened the door, looked at me genuine sorry. Those honest and deep eyes, filled with regret. 

„Thank you for coming out.", he whispered.I didn't break our eye contact as I replied: „Thank you for making breakfast". He held his hand out and I let him guide me to our kitchen. It was cleaned, a new bouquet of flowers on the counter and his homemade breakfast including fresh and pressed orange juice...the remains of the whisky bottle were gone too.

He'd whiped away every evidence for our fight as if I could forget it like that. We sat down anyway.

„I am sorry for our fight yesterday, I just got so mad because you was screaming at me an-" I interrupted him; „It's not about yesterday.. it's about us fighting nearly ever day..this intense."

Nick took a bite bacon and waved it off; „It's not that big of a deal. Every couple fights."

 „Well they don't fight like we do..", knowing that it was his good, sober version sitting next to me I allowed myself to speak up. „They don't fuck like we do either and that's something I'd do rather now", he said with a smirk on his face.

I barely got to see his good side recently so I did everything to keep it as long as possible...and I really needed to get railed and as aggressive as this man got from alcohol, as good he was in bed. After years with each other you know which spots to hit and wow he hit them good.

The bonus about all of this was: I got to be close to him, feel loved by him and I knew how wrong this was. How sick it was.

 But I took what I could get...