It's All About Me[CHAENNIE]

47

Jennie wakes up to a knock on the door and Seokjin's voice. She raises her head and holds her gaze on Rose's face, who has made a sound, but has not yet opened her eyes. Jennie kisses her on the cheek and stays in that position until she turns on her side. Rose hugs the girl with both arms, burying her face between the pillow and her cheek.

-I don't have the strength to get up.- She whispers, to which Jennie smiles.

Jennie didn't go anywhere yesterday. Irene and Seulgi were not offended, but Chahee made it clear that she would not talk to Jennie anymore, and she was to blame for her. Even if it wasn't said, it's clear that Chahee insisted that they drink yesterday just because Jennie was with them. It's unlikely that they lost much because her plans changed - in principle, what difference does it make — but it didn't turn out very nicely.

Jennie had a good night. Very good. She lies with thoughts and hopes that the next few days will pass the same way, with the hope that Rose's brain is not overloaded. And although none of them is completely satisfied — each has their own reasons for resentment — but Jennie sincerely wants Rose to be there as a girl who can be hugged and kissed, and not as a roommate with whom she has to fight.

Rose, as if reading Jennie's mind, snuggles closer to Jennie. She hugs her so tightly that Jennie becomes uncomfortable, but instead of freeing herself, she assumes a position in which it will be easier for her to hug the girl back. They lie huddled together for a long time. The man knocks on the door and then opens it. Jin freezes when he sees the girls and awkwardly looks away:

-Get up. You have five minutes.

Jennie doesn't move, and neither does Rose. They lie there for another minute.

-I feel so bad thinking that this won't happen anymore.

Jennie wants to reply that this could have been the case all the previous time if Rose had behaved differently, but she doesn't say it. Everyone experiences it differently, it needs to be accepted. She has to accept, because she believes that Rose loves her, because from the very first day, despite the aggression of the blonde, she noticed that she felt something. And it's her fault that she stopped noticing it and became fixated on her own emotions and resentments. If she had found an approach... if she had been more persistent...

-Me too.- Jennie answers, but she's lying.

She's not sure what she's saying. More precisely, she doesn't feel it now. She can't live through the emotions of a situation that hasn't happened yet. In this particular case, she can't, but she knows what it is. It's the same as experiencing joy when something pleasant is about to happen. The anticipation of an early separation should make her feel bad, but it's not. She's fine now.

Rose's accusations come back to mind and how she herself accused her in response. But it was self-defense, because she really had nothing to say. What could she do? Admit that she doesn't feel it the way Rose does? But that wouldn't be true. The thought that there will no longer be a person around who makes her feel such emotions makes her sad. She was sad about a lot of things, but not about Rose leaving on Sunday. However, if she had talked to her about it, Jennie would have found the words. She could have been lying if only Rose had been calm, and not to get rid of it. She would be willing to do a lot to make Rose feel good.

-I know that we don't live in the same city.- The blonde says.- But if you were in America... It's just... There are many ways. You're leaving.

-I didn't know you wanted to continue.- Jennie answers, confused.- You're not talking to me.

-I used to think that I just didn't want to say a lot, but thanks to you, I realized that there are things that can't be said.

-What has changed?