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Harry Potter and the Order of the Thingy

A/N: Hi Ladys and Gentleman,I am writing this fic for one reason and one reason only; angrykiller90210 said I couldn't do it!They said I couldn't stick with anything. Well, this will be proof positive and it will be awesome! I'll do this in 3 parts, below is just the intro which doesn't count towards those 3. Like the Hobbit movie.(btw, I'll finish of the last parts of my other Harry Potter story later, btw.) Seeya, From,-Preston M. SimpsonEveryone who looked could see there was a undeniably, ravenous animal attraction between You and Presley. No one could deny it. No one except The bushy haired girl and You, that is.They seemed blissfully unaware of their attraction to each-other. Unaware of their boundless uncontrollable lust.Every time they met they didn't show it, but everyone knew. Everyone knew what was really going on between them.

 A war of lust.

And everyone knew that it was a unsuitable situation. No one wanted to be dragged into that war.

Something had to be done.Or someone.

It was a cold day in Hogwarts. A storm was coming...

In the middle of all this, finally,Snape could stand it no longer.

He found You, and pulled them to one side

"Thats it! its ruining the team. Its clear you cant function while The smartest witch of her year is around!"

"What no! I am fine."

"No. Its very clear. You need to do the Shagging with them"

Everyone else in the room nodded at this.

"But doing the shagging with The brown eyed girl...isn't that..umm...wrong?"

"Oh, sure, its wrong. Very very wrong.

But just because somethings wrong doesn't mean it shouldn't happen does it?"

"No, I suppose not"

You wondered off thinking of the shagging....how will he introduce the idea to The witch? and would they accept it?

Renee felt really dperessed one day.She had been slitting her wrists even more then normal. She had just found out that she was adopted. Her real parents turned out to be nobels from Europe. They had a upper class mansion and were mighty richt! But she had none of that richness around. It made her feel pretty bad about herself so she listened to some good music. A/N like Evanessence and Within Temptation but also like My Chemical Romance

But long she did not have to be depressed as you came in and kissed her in her special place (they had falled in love at the end of the story see). And you said: "I love oyu so much, it hurts.But fortunately I like pain, as I am into that stuff. But I know you are hurt now and not in the sexy way. What is wrong with you? If you feel bad then I feel bad.But not in the sexy way"

So Renee told you the whole story. You were shocked to hear this and said "I'm really shocked to hear this! Your parents are monsters!"

"Which ones?"

"All four of them, I don't like them. As much as I don't like Luna!"

And that was a lot because Renee R Presley knew that you hated Luna because she was unbelievably stupid and fat.

But you took out a letter, "this had just arrived," you said.

The brunette openend the envolupe and inside was an invitation:

"Most Esteemed Presley said the message"

"You are condord invited to the royal ball of your parents. Your real parents, miss."

"We hope to see you soon. Most esteamly yours, dutchess!"

Oh my, said Renee this is rad!. But you were a little sceptic: "Maybe it's a trick."

"Why?" said Renee

"Because there are.... rumours. Of Voldemort still being around!"

"Surely he could not come all the way to Europe!?" said the brown eyed girl confidently because she didn't think that the dark lord could travel that far.

"Hurm," you said contagiously, "we just have to be careful."

"Hold on," exlciamed Renee R Presley, there is something else in the invitation!

"Princess Renee, hereby we also bestow upon you the keys to the cage of a flying unicorn your parents have provided you with. Also, whenever you hold this key in your hand, your powers are increased"

the brown eyed girl was really happy with that but also felt a little bad for you. After they had a relaction ship, you had taught her your Magic and she picked it up really well! She was now even better at you at the Magic!

So they went and picked up the flying unicorn. It was really quick and agile and flew around them like it really enjoyed itself! It took a moment but with enough training and perversion, Renee trained it to her will! Now they could go and visit their parents!

But little did they know that the invitation was not from Renee's european nobel parents, but from the quirky blonde instead! And she had teamed up with Voldemort!

--

Draco walked past at that moment in his leather pants. He looked depressed.--

You finally found a moment to pull Renee R Presley away from the others, to have a private moment.

"You we have to do it"

"I know, my team told me as well. Apparently our feelings are causing problems for everyone else."

"So we are agreed? We finally let our feelings out of their cages of repression they have been caged in all this time?"

"Yes. For the team"

"No...for us"

You leapt on The smartest witch of her year at that moment.The raging gorilla they kept locked up finally unleashed.

You and Renee R Presley quickly became a ball of body-partsand blood. Noses, foots and arms all tangled together. You didn't know what bit to focus on, so grabbed a spare pnor and dived in.

"More! More! More!" whispered The smartest witch of her year to You.

Their love making was like a sunrise of penis's. Its like they were everywhere - inescapable (not that either of them wanted to escape them).

Things got...messy...from that point on.

Nearby the others occasionally heard screams. But politely ignored it.

This had been coming far too long to ruin it now - and this team bonding was very much needed.

You and your team went carefully through Hogwarts. You looked very sexy, Your nipples perked, firm and erect. Your leather coat bilbogged in the breeze, extrapolating Your sex mess. "It is time", You said, Your voice having a British nationality.

"Yes, It is time to defeat Voldemort once and for all." said Snape . He wore a Black corset covered in Members and a nice hat. His nails were iridescent black and he had a ruby skull ring on.He looked as hot as a Frying Pan!

And then they rushed into the base. The quirky blonde roundhouse kicked a mook and then punched one with her glock. It exploded and she held up her middle finger to the explosion.Luna then used her holy holy magics and summoned a giant bloody cross scythe that glowed black. She sliced everyone but it was okay because she dodged her friend. Blood spurted and went on everything, making a star of david one the walls. A eye bulb bounced off the tall man as he entered, LOOKING FUCKING PISSSSED.

"How dared you! I will kill u!!!!!!111!!!" he shoouted and took out a flame thrower (A/N geddit?)

The fight was epic. Things burned black. The dark lord and Renee got distracted and started kissing in the corner and doing Dancing in the sheets but then one died.

You Ejaculated at the Voldemort, "LOOK BEHIND YOU!"

And then he looked and you ripped him in half.

The End