The Wicked Witch with Versace Wisdom

Chapter 4

Wednesday started with an attempted murder and ended in a successful one. After getting frisked by the Dupont guards, Dragana and I left the estate around midnight in her vehicle. Perhaps that was my mistake. Sitting in a luxury Ferrari wasn't quite enough to distract from the vampire's presence. I looked over my findings from under the floorboard. The steroid dogs hadn't even been close when patting me down.

"Amateurs", I muttered. The hidden treasure turned out to be nothing of the sort. It was a pair of tacky earrings. Cheap and sparkly hoops that would stain your skin green if you wore them. Dragana pulled out her key and the expensive car came to life with a smooth purr, like a sleepy jaguar.

"Maybe he has a girlfriend", she suggested. It was a fair guess. Lord Barthelemy junior wouldn't be the first man, nor the last, to follow his dick rather than duty. "I can't sense anything on them though. He must have washed them." I put away the ugly things in her glove department.

"He didn't have a girlfriend." I tried making myself comfortable and turned on the radio. Dragana turned it off.

"Why is that, Gracie sweet?", she asked in a low and raspy voice. This was going to be a long ride.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Orlok's bastard?" I certainly did. My ability wasn't always easy to control. It had chosen me, but wicca magic was fickle. It liked to confuse and manipulate. Leaving small breadcrumbs in hope that the bearer would lose themselves before reaching the metaphorical candy house. I turned the radio back on. "Drive me to my office."

"We still need to discuss the case."

"No, we don't. I'm on top of it. Everything is just handy dandy lemon fanny", I said and looked out the window. The moon was in full view, casting a blue lustre over the trees and giving the outside a haunted look.

"On top of it? All you've done is thrown female hygiene products at werewolves and concluded that the missing royalty probably doesn't have a girlfriend. I know you're not happy with this arrangement..." Understatement of the century. "...but like it or not, we are in this together. You need to talk to me." She sounded very reasonable. I unbuckled my seatbelt and grasped at the doorhandle.

"Nope. Just drop me of here. I can walk." The Ferrari came to a screeching halt at the side of the road. While we had crossed into neutral grounds, a concept that was ambiguous at best, there was still a few minutes left before we reached the city. I pressed
my entire body against the sleek interior. "Don't you dare use a child lock on me, Jovanovic. Let me out before I turn your fangs into a puddle." Soft yet unyielding hands pushed me backwards.

"I will. When you tell me what really happened that day." My heart did not skip a beat. It just got tired of pumping for a second. I conjured up a sweet smile.

"I already did. Are you having memory problems in your old age, my dear? Is that why you so carelessly killed my..." She rudely cut me off.

"This is not about that bloody plant, Gracie." Intelligence was highly overrated in lovers. Especially when they turned into exes.

"Unless it is."

"Stop it."

"No, you stop it." I had every intention of sounding suave, but then my voice hitched at the end. Like an actual stutter. This was bad. I needed to get out of here before something else embarrassing happened. "Just let it go, Dragana. Please." Fucking hell. Amanda Grace Norma Blyth did not stutter, and she definitely did not reduce herself to pleading. I was ready to jump into the non-existing traffic and end it all right there. Luckily for me, someone else had already planned my demise. Before Dragana had a chance to respond, a motorcycle gang came barrelling down on the wrong side of the road. I ducked just as the first bullet crashed into the windshield. Then it started raining fire. You've got to love assassins with a great sense of timing.

"Shit!" Dragana swore as the broken glass in front of us began glowing violet. Fae magic was one of few things that could penetrate vampire skin. Once inside the blessed bullets would work like snake venom, temporarily damaging the nervous system and leaving the undead incapacitated. It wouldn't kill her though. Not like me.

"Well, they came prepared. That's something", I yelled over the sound of metal hitting metal. The number of times someone tried to kill me with a crappy knife in a dark alley was astounding. The fae was notoriously antisocial and their blessings would have cost the assassins time, energy and favours. So, while I didn't like the idea of being brutally murdered, I could at least appreciate the effort. Dragana broke off the steering wheel and used it as a shield.

"Shut up and get us some protection. I can't fight an entire arsenal of fae magic on my own." She had a point, but a spell would ruin my new manicure and stain my clothes. Not to mention I would need to perform it in front of my vampire ex-lover. It wasn't ideal.

"Are you sure..." Something exploded right outside my window.

"Amanda Grace Norma Blyth, I swear to your goddess!" Dragana screamed. She was such a drama queen.

"Fine, fine. One protection spell coming up." I scratched at my arm. Blood sacrifices weren't common practise in wicca culture, but I didn't have anything else to channel the magic. Most witches walked around smelling like an herb garden and wore unflattering, weirdly shaped figurines for protection. Grandma Norma even took her special oak wand to bed with her in case of emergencies. When she demanded for me to do the same, I complied like a dutiful granddaughter and got one with batteries included. "Seun dion, Seun dion. Talamh gu neamnh gu muir." I got lightheaded as the magic travelled downwards, pulsating under my skin, and forcing out red droplets from the small nicks. I quickly smeared some on Dragana, pretending not to notice when her eyes turned more golden.

"You have two minutes before it fades, Walmart's version of Blade", I said. Dragana didn't open the now mangled door. She simply pulled the entire thing from its hinges and threw it at the bikers.

"I only need one."