ivy ; malachi barton

chapter twenty-three ; come down soon

"it'll come down soon, nothing this good ever lasts this long for me." come down soon; lizzy mcalpine

malachi

I quivered with rage as I entered the bathroom.

I checked my phone. One hour. One hour till we landed; one hour until I had to see Brady's face, as well as Evelyn's reaction to seeing him. It was all-consumingly torturous, the way I cared for her. What was so special? Why did she overcome my every thought, feeling, emotion and decision?

What was to happen if Brady asked her to be his girlfriend? She would, of course, say yes; either out of pity or pure love. My chance, my fight, would be over - but was that a good thing? Would it be more painful knowing that my every effort was worth nothing but breaking my friendship and tearing apart a relationship?

I thought I could deal with the idea of her never loving me. I had decided that she never would - that I would never let her. But the idea of her being taken from me with no possible chance of us terrified me in more ways than I'd like to admit.

The choice still stood. Now for the betterment of myself, and the safety of Evelyn. We couldn't be together, and we couldn't be in love. It was easier said than done, but I knew that it was necessary. Brady deserved her. He had done right by her over and over, and I had done nothing but put her through endless, mind-bending misery.

If I couldn't do it for myself, I would do it for her.

Eventually, I regained the strength to go back out. I passed her without a second glance, and approached the waiting MK. He grinned at me as I sat down.

"Half an hour and we're there, brother." He said, shoving me playfully. I gave him a soft smile, running my hands through my coarse hair. I tried to be excited. I had been, for the longest time. But something about knowing I'd have to watch Evy and Brady together made me want to tune out the whole experience.

"Okay, don't be too hyped." Julian teased, crossing him arms. I rolled my eyes at him, passing my gaze out the window. The rolling green hills of New Zealand glided by underneath me, filling me with the happy sensation of warmth and welcome. It was disgusting.

"Sorry, jet lagged." I huffed, rubbing my eyes. In truth, I hadn't slept the whole flight. Thoughts of Evelyn invaded my dreams and cursed away the possibility of getting any winks.

"Jet lagged means Evy, by the way." MK rather loudly whispered, making Julian laugh. At the lack of my amusement they both stopped.

"Okay, message received." He winced, pursing his lips.

🫧

I chose to walk beside Evy, for no other reason but my own self hatred and innate ability to torture myself.

I saw her jitters, the way her hand tapped her thigh as we walked to the baggage claim. I wanted to intertwine my fingers with her and calm her every worry, but I couldn't. I had a feeling that that would breach every rule I had just concluded for myself.

"I'm sorry you heard that, Mal." Meg's sweet voice appeared beside me. I turned to her, looking down to her height.

I shrugged, knowing that neither of us had to specify what she was talking about. "Don't worry about it, Meg."

She narrowed her eyes at me, before signalling towards the pretty blonde girl that was a few steps ahead of us now. "You too are meant to be."