ֆɛȶȶʟɛ ɦօʊʀ ✯ Ŧเռռ¹

Her Sweet Majesty

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FINN WHAT'S-HIS-NAME stretched his lips to a small, tentative grin.

"Daria." He echoed, nodding. "It's nice to meet you. Now, will you please lower the candleabra?"

My eyes snapped to the candleabra closed around my fingers. I must've grabbed hold of it from the bedside table from earlier. Reluctantly, I obliged.

I tugged at my cap to get him to release it. "Why do you have this?"

Finn scratched the back of his head and chuckled. "Well, the thing is I . . . kind of forgot to set it back down after the Princess had me hold onto it."

He then let go of my cap. It was faded brown with an embroidered star. Up close, I got to see his face more clearly. There was a papercut-size slit on his upper cheek where it looked to be getting more rouged up by the second.

"So uh," Finn started. "Where'd you come from, Daria—"

"Where are my clothes?" I asked, looking around the candified hospital wing.

"Oh! I think it's . . ." Finn did the same and whirled around. But as he did, the large doors barged open, and the Pink Pez Dispenser came barging in.

The first thing I noticed was her long, pink hair that looked like it was shining, almost like . . . bubblegum? I assumed she was royalty, seeing the blue-jeweled tiara perched on her head and the gown (a real one this time) matching her hair.

"Oh! Good, you're awake." She came sweeping through the room towards Finn and me.

Princess 'Bubblegum hair', apart from being fashioned with a pink gown, also had a lab coat draped over it— which made me feel severely underdressed. Plus, everything about her looked candy, from her hands to her skin and, well, her hair.

"Hi, P.B." Finn greeted her.

P.B., huh? I wonder what that stands for- Princess Bubblegum?

For a daunting moment, I wondered whether or not Finn was going to report my initial attempt at throwing myself off the ledge of the balcony. But something about him made me think he wouldn't . . . couldn't . . . shouldn't.

"Come with me." P.B. said.

My stomach knotted. She was not kidding about those tests. What kind of tests were they, anyway? Summative? Diagnostic? Experimental? Let's hope it's not the last one.

Before I could protest, P.B. was already steering me out of the hospital wing. I managed to blurt out a quick bye to Finn before leaving.

Outside, the doors were flanked by what looked to be regular guards, save for the fact that they were literal bananae. Bananas? Whatever.

We coursed through the corridor. Walls were lined with portaits of PB in different periods of clothing. Looks like someone's into history. We entered a heavily doored room at the rear end of the corridor.

The laboratory didn't have a giant tube of acidic pink stuff at the center, surprisingly. Honestly, I didn't even know what I was expecting. I just figured that was exactly what one would expect on a candy princess scientist's lab. Maybe not.

What the lab did have, though, was a 10-ton Back To The Future-looking machine pushed all the way to the far corner. Adjacent to that were the countertops laden with lab equipment like petri dishes and glass flasks.

P.B. steered me over to the machine, which I did not like at all whatsoever.

"First things first, your name." P.B. said, pulling out a pen and clipboard.

"Uh," I scrambled my brain for a response. "Sorry, who are you? And why is everything made out of candy?"

P.B. blinked. Then, a small chuckle bubbled up from her throat. "Well, no, duh. After all, this is the Candy Kingdom, silly!"

If it wasn't for the sheer conviction in her voice, I would've laughed in her face.

So, just for a quick recap, I just woke up in a hospital gown of all things in a land of candy? It took great effort to try and wrap my head around it. I mean Finn was human, I could tell. But that was the only thing I could closely relate to home. Everything else was just . . . kooky.

P.B. must've noticed my confusion; because when she spoke, it was a lot more reluctant. "You don't— you don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

I didn't need to answer or shake my head. It was clear from my confusion-ridden eyes already.

P.B. sighed deeply. Her breath smelled like sweet licorice. "Okay, um, well, could you tell me where you're from?"

"Where I'm from . . ." I mumbled under my breath. My eyes drew to the cap, still in my hands, then snapped back to hers. "Oregon."

Now, it was P.B.'s turn to look confused. She stopped jotting down on her clipboard; and looked at me like I was a wood-skinned sentient tree-like being that hides behind trees— which, oddly enough, was a creature my friends and I had encountered back home.

"Gone what?" P.B. peered at me.

To be completely honest, I was kind of expecting this reaction from her. Of course, she wouldn't know where Oregon was. Like I had no idea there even was a 'Candy Kingdom' on Earth.

"Oregon. You know, like the trail?"

"Trail?"

I shook my head. "Forget it."

"No, no, it's just that it sounds really familiar. I think I've seen it on a map in one of my books."

"You have?"

P.B. bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows. "Oregon . . . is known to have a myriad of forests and mountains, right?"

"Right!" I almost jumped from elation. "Do you, by any chance, know how I can get there? What kind of transportation do you use?"

"Hold on a second, uh . . ."

"Daria." I finished.

"Okay, Daria. How about we, uhm, do the test first. How does that sound?"

I drew back. "Why do I need to be tested?"

P.B. cocked her head. "Mandatory check-up for foreign guests."

"Well, I feel just dandy. There's your check-up."

"Daria."

"You know what? I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to wrap my head aprind everything because you haven't even told me your name, and you expect me to step in one of your machines? What am I, your lab rat?"

An apologetic look washed over P.B.'s pink face. Her hands dropped to her sides like a soldier disarming herself.

"Look, Daria, I'm just trying to help you. I'd never intend to do you any harm. I hope you can understand that." Her voice shifted from interrogative to something a little more sincere.

Her look managed to break a piece of glass that shielded my heart; but I remained stern.

"I can see where you're coming from, I suppose." I nodded listlessly. "Excuse my small outburst there."

P.B. cracked a weak smile. "No, you're good."

"So, shall we?" She announced, gesturing to the machine.

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