The first guy I came across when I went into the world was the first guy I let touch me. His name was Shawn, he was 20 years old. He had a girlfriend when we met which made me the side chick. At age 14 he was the first to fuck me. Everything he couldn’t do with her, he did with me. It was pure animalistic sex, rough. Any chance I had with him I took, when he called I ran. He was putting it down so good to the point where I almost forgot my position. I knew his girlfriend came first, he reminded me every chance he got. I was the definition of YOUNG, DUMB & FULL OF CUM when I met Shawn. He was there when no one else was there so naturally I grew up depending on him, wanting him, needing him by my side. The small amount of attention that he gave me was enough at first because I knew his situation. Shawn worked at a car wash making enough money to support him and his family. You heard correctly: HIS FAMILY. Three months into our fucked up RELATIONship, his girlfriend ended up pregnant, he got a second job to support his unborn and to keep me happy. After hearing he had a child on the way I almost felt bad about sleeping with him, but I realized if it wasn’t with me it’d be someone else. It’s true, I had a hoe mentality, watching your mom juggle two men can do that to you. Shawn was the kind of guy that could have the world at his feet but it would never be enough. He could have everything he ever wanted, which he did, but it would never be enough for him. He thought with his dick, his feelings and pleasure came before anything, well that’s the conclusion I came up with. I never understood or asked why he couldn’t be happy with what he had, why he took a chance on me knowing it could be the end of THEM. I just figured he knew what kind of woman he had at his side and she was either too stupid to ever leave if she found out because she loved him or he loved her enough to never let her find out, either way I promised myself I wouldn’t be THAT girl, I wouldn’t be the girl who stayed no matter how much I loved a guy, if he cheated on me I would leave. Hypocritical huh? I know that I’m wrong, if I was in her shoes I wouldn’t like someone stepping to what’s mine, I should stop, it’s the right thing to do, but why couldn’t I ?
