Why Didn't You Notice?

Chapter Six: Holding On

             School passes by in a blur after the memorial service and before I know it, the final bell has rung and I'm at my locker packing my textbooks and binders into my bag. Slamming my locker shut, I throw my bag over my back before turning to shuffle for the doors, hoping to get the hell out of here quickly. Lark has practice tonight, so I'm aiming for the soccer field behind the school to sit on the bleachers and wait for him to drive me home. Approaching the field, I see Lark stretching on the sidelines, his face serious and focused. His soccer jersey hugging his lithe frame, lean corder muscles straining against the arms of his sleeves.

His shorts are hung low on his hips and hug loosely around his thighs. The sun glitters off his copper hair and when he straightens, his eyes meet mine from across the field. Lark grins widely, before jogging towards me.

"You made it!" He's awfully enthusiastic about me being here. "Well yeah, you're my ride home so I kind of had to be here," I say it jokingly and with a bright grin on my face. Lark rolls his eyes as he cups my face in his hands, "Oh I see, you're just using me for rides. I see where my place is." Giggling, I squeal when he tickles my sides but then double over gasping as pain rips along my sides and down to my toes.

"El I'm so sorry! I forgot your ribs were fractured!" How could you forget something like that? But I don't have time to answer. The pain is sharp, burning. It ripples along my waist until coiling at the bottom of my belly before slowly dissipating. Finally, I push myself to stand and gasp, "It's fine. Maybe I should go sit down though." Nodding, Clark guides me to the bleachers and hovers worriedly behind me as I sit.

"Clark, it's fine." I grumble but he kneels before me, cupping my cheeks. His blue eyes are shadowed by worry "I'm really sorry Elowen." He leans in to kiss my cheek when one of his teammates shouts, "Yo, lover boy, lets go. We have practice, are you joining us or what?" Lark rolls his eyes but waves to his teammate, "Yes, I'll be right there!" Turning back to me, Lark gives me a tender look, "See you at the end of practice?"

Nodding, I nudge him towards his team before taking a seat on the bleachers a few steps up from the bottom. When the coach blows the whistle, I pull a book from my bag and get immersed in the story on the page about a girl who needs to find herself. Fitting I think as this situation couldn't have been more related.

➰

           Two hours later, the boys are grabbing towels and wiping sweat from their brows. Lark is laughing with some of his teammates so I quietly pack up my things and climb down from the bleachers. Standing off to the side, I wait patiently for Lark to be done. While I'm waiting, a warm hand falls upon my shoulder and I turn to see Raven's dad standing behind me.

"How're you doing El?" He asks. His deep voice just as I always remembered it. "As good as I can be I guess." I never could lie to him. He just had this way about him, something that made you want to be honest and open. He nods, his eyes just like Raven's do bold and beautiful they hurt to look at.

"How are you and Leslie doing?" I ask. He sighs, "My wife hasn't left her bedroom since we got home last night. She holds Raven's favorite sweater to her face and cries into it. As for me, well... I still have a team to coach so if I can't forget about my daughter being dead at home, then I can forget about it here."

The harshness of his words slice through me. Before I can comment, Lark calls out, "El, sweetheart, are you ready?" I look over my shoulder and give him a nod before turning back to Daniel but he's stepped away to speak with a player about their effort in practice. Deciding that's all I'll get from him today, I spin on my heels and stride for Lark.

He tosses an arm over my shoulder before nuzzling my neck and grabs his water bottle to take a swig. "So some of the guys are having a party tonight, did you want to come?" I look up at him in shock. "But it's only Monday. Why are they having a party on a Monday night?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I said I'd go, just wanted to know if you would too. Might be helpful to let off some steam."

Let off some steam? As if a party will help me forget that my best friend is dead. Biting my tongue, I reply, "I'd have to ask my parents when I get home." He nods and grabs his sports bag before sliding his arm off my shoulder and striding away.

Taking that as a sign that the conversation is over, I wave goodbye to Dan and the rest of Lark's teammates before trotting after him as quickly as my broken ribs allow. Lark and I are silent on the walk back to his car. Neither of us says a word to each other. It makes no sense as just this morning he was kissing me in the parking lot and telling me how much he loved me.

Something is off with Lark. I just don't know what yet. The sound of crunching gravel turns to the soft tapping of pavement. We've reached his truck by the time I've decided to ask, "Lark, are you ok?"

His back is to me, so he doesn't turn around as he reaches for the trunk, opens it and states, "Yeah I'm fine. Why?" Shoving his sports bag into the trunk he slams it shut aggressively before striding for his door. Standing behind, waiting to see if he'll open my door or even notice that I haven't followed him, I answer, "Because you're acting funny."

Lark pauses. His hand reaches for the door handle before he turns to me. "Funny how?" Can he really not see it? "Lark, ever since Raven's funeral you've been off. Something is eating at you but I don't know what it is, or why. You're going to a party on a Monday night, using soccer practice as an excuse to be absent from my best friend's funeral, none of this is like you. What the hell is going on?"

But he doesn't answer. Instead he grits his teeth, yanks open the driver door and snaps, "Get in the truck El," before shoving himself inside and slamming the door shut. I stand there for a moment longer, my head tilted up towards the sky as I watch puffy white clouds pass us by. Something is off with Lark. Something is very wrong. Sighing, I hobble quietly towards the passenger side, slip into his truck and try to disappear into the leather of his seats.

➰

           "Absolutely not." My parents state when I ask them about the party later that night. After Lark dropped me off at home, he left to change and clean up for the evening. Told me to let him know if I was going or not. Meeting my mother's eyes I smile, "That's ok. I didn't want to go anyways." My parents frown, "Then why ask?" My father states.

"Because I needed something to tell Lark, so that I could get out of not going." Now they both seem concerned, "Is there something wrong between you and Lark?" I shake my head, "No. Everything is fine. I just don't think going to a party is the best way to let off steam." I can't tell them of my suspicions. I don't want them to know or worry more than they already are. My mother opens her mouth to protest but then closes it, thinking better than to push. "Ok, if you say so."

Smiling, I place a brief kiss on both of their cheeks before heading upstairs. Grabbing my phone, I text Lark letting him know I can't go.

Bummer. Guess I'll see you tomorrow. He replies.

You're still going, even without me?

Yes. I need this El. His messages infuriate me. Why is he going to party on a Monday night? Raven would tell me to let it go, that he's an adult and can make his own choices. She'd be right. Sighing, I shrug off the annoyance and text back:

Ok. Have fun. Let me know when you get there and get back home. Love you.

I wait for the incoming text to send, but it never does. Lark reads my message and doesn't respond. Putting my phone away, I climb onto my bed and grab a book, hoping to get lost in the fictional world when my phone beeps.

Ok, will do.

That's it. That's all he said. Not even an 'I love you' back. Suddenly the dread coiling in my belly takes my breath away and a chill makes its way down my spine.