Shards of Love

Chapter 3: He can Dive

Jan 9, 2020.

The bus had finally come. Arnav turned toward Suraj and he nodded and came forward to give a quick hug. A goodbye hug. Arnav felt that warmth and released him a moment later.

'Take care da,' Suraj said.

'You too.' said Arnav and without further comment looked down at the luggage and started picking them. Suraj picked two bags.

The bus guy stopped a little further from the stop and the guys had to run awkwardly with heavy bags. The conductor like guy - a teenager of maybe 19 got down with the ticket checklist and asked for Arnav's name and seat. Arnav confirmed the details and asked to open the luggage storage compartment behind the front wheels.

The guy reluctantly told conveyed the same to driver and he got down grudgingly and opened the compartment and to Arnav's utter dismay, it was mostly full.

'Shite', thought Arnav.

Without checking with him, the driver pulled his bags one by one and started haphazardly throwing them inside. Arnav hastily stopped him and said he would place them as there are laptops and stuff inside which need careful handling. The driver stepped away to chat with conductor.

Arnav quickly scanned the cramped space and moved a few luggages and made room to keep his important bags in right place and then threw his bags containing simply all his clothes in on top of each other. He took one backpack with him that contained his wallet, a couple of books, a thin blanket, water bottle and some clothes. He doesn't get hungry during travel, so just water would be sufficient.

He got inside while Suraj just stayed out, not coming inside the bus to seat him. Arnav took the seat, an upper birth single bed side. He usually didn't choose like that, but that time he wanted to travel alone and bottom lower single beds were all booked.

His mind felt an unknown relief or a huge weight lifted as he sat down and in a couple of minutes, the bus started.

This was the second time in his life that he left a city feeling completely shattered and hopeless, with just the light hearted feel of never setting foot in that place ever again.

The first was three years back...

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July 13, 2015.

'It is so hard, why do I feel useless and incompetent day by day. I feel and believe I'm a huge mistake in this world. How will I ever succeed in life and save my family?'

This was one of the thought trains that was running through his head as Arnav left the classroom.

It was a power system class and the staff had given internal test papers. Arnav had just gotten five marks more than the pass mark. It truly shattered him. For a guy, who was a topper throughout his school life, this was a bitter change and anytime he scored like this, he felt academics was giving him a tight slap on the face. He had no actual friends in college life.

He realised too late that people were highly toxic in his college. And, you can't blame him for that. PEC, Madurai was a prestigious government aided institution, to which people with really good scores in higher secondary board exams can only get a merit seat. Not to mention it was the top third college in Tamil Nadu when he got the seat during counseling in  2012.

Arnav was a doctor by heart. Yes, he loved the biology and medicine field. He had a unique knack for absorbing those concepts real good even when the teachers at school were not that good. He wanted to become a doctor so bad, his interest in biological science was so great that his hard work got him a medicine cut-off of 199.25 which would've gotten him a government college seat. But not one thing went as per his plan or wish. How he chose engineering was in itself a sad and stupid story. All complete family politics - relatives and so-called idiotic mentors ruined his chances. Arnav could never argue against his mother and win. The argument was plain and simple - the family was in utter ruins. I can only save it from going to the streets. Doing medicine for five years and then a master's - nobody gave particular clarity on anything. All over the air, there was criticism and doubts. He didn't even get an application form for medicine counseling.