25th July, 2020, Saturday, 1:30 PM
Dhiya came back after sometime and beckoned him to follow her.
After the session, Arnav felt withdrawn. Partly because he was admitting being ill or weak to a girl who was young and more concerning, cute.
As men, they are never taught the ability to embrace vulnerability. They are taught to be hard and strong from a young age. Boys shouldn't cry. They cannot break. They cannot show weakness. They cannot share. All day, everyday they are expected to be strong, confident and collected. Since there's no outlet for their emotions, many men simply drown themselves in drinking!
And for people like Arnav who don't have such habits, escaping reality was all the more difficult!
As he followed her, his mind kept replaying everything he had said to her. Did he embarrass himself by sharing too much. Another voice chimed in. She was a doctor and he didn't just open up his issues to a random stranger in the park. He didn't know what to expect from the head doctor who reserved the final call in his diagnosis and treatment options.
As he entered another wing on the first floor, he could see people of all ages and genders waiting in the OP, admitted into the IP ward. He wondered if psychological issues were also common. He was under the impression that something was wrong with just himself and every other human had their shit together on this planet. Apparently, he was wrong!
Inside an unmarked room, which Arnav assumed was an IP ward with less crowd, Dhiya went in and Arnav could see Dinesh already sitting beside a middle aged man of maybe 35, with a surprisingly young face with salt and pepper beard. His hair was miles away from how he would've done that morning. He wore glasses that perfectly suited his box shaped face. His eyes oozed maturity and wisdom. Arnav's first impression of him was - that guy knows how to do his job!
Dr.Srini looked up serious from the notes Dhiya had given him. Upon seeing Arnav, his expression underwent subtle yet swift changes from confusion to surprise to a fake smile. Arnav didn't know what to feel. Now he was confused which gave way to a fake smile for customary reasons.
"Hello Mr.Arnav. Sit down, please", he said and the voice exuded clear authority mixed with genuine care.
He continued without asking anything from Arnav.
"I have with me, the notes from your session. Is it seems there are residual trauma in your mind. I gather that you've faced issues with both practical life and emotional life. Now, if you want to add or ask me anything in particular, I can take that up", he said.
Arnav didn't know what to say to that. He simply asked, "What is my diagnosis? I've seen two psychologists before and they were not willing to properly take up my issues as something serious. Would you be at least doing that, acknowledging I might have issues, that is?" He asked and consciously tried to not look at Dhiya. But her eyes were almost memorizing everything Arnav said or did at that moment.
"Sorry about that, but yes, I can acknowledge you are facing issues. I would need to investigate further to properly diagnose and decide a treatment course. Can we start?" He asked casually.
"Sure doctor".
"Is sleep your primary problem? The reason why you are here?"
"It's an important reason, yes, but not just that. I feel always down and unable to deal with daily life. It feels like all that went wrong in life collectively started to strangle me".
"I understand. Are you overthinking a lot".
"All the time. Especially at night when I'm alone with my mind. I feel like I've an enemy residing inside me".
YOU ARE READING
Shards of Love
RomanceHey readers! Shards of Love is eligible for The Wattys 2024 and has been successfully submitted. He knows he's broken. He knows he hit rock bottom. He doesn't know to give up. He is a warrior. He fights back. She is also a warrior but a different o...
