Hard

Chapitre 3

Asa POV :

"I finally made my choice," YG announced. I was a little bit stressed but managed to calm down. "The leader of BABYMONSTER will be.. Asa," he said. Everyone began to applaud. They seem very happy. I don't want to be the leader, but at the same time, I tell myself that no one, I mean Ruka Unnie, will be even more stressed by having this role. I guess I can handle this, right ?

Chiquita POV :

"Congrats Ace-sa !," I happily said to her after YG left the room. He even told us that we could rest for today, which means catch up on my sleep !

"Hum.. thank you guys, I tried my best to.. hum..," Asa Unnie stutters. She seems stressed, but why ? I mean yeah it's not an easy role to be a leader, but I think something else bothers her, but what ? I really wanna know what she's thinking, what she's feeling, if she's okay, tired, anxious. I wanna know all of these but I know this is not the right time to ask that. « I should maybe talk with her about it later.. » I thought. But a voice cut my thoughts off.

"Well, Asa, I need to talk to you about something later," Ruka Unnie said with a stern voice.

Ruka POV :

Enough, I can't. I can't stop getting worried about her. That enough. I need to know. I know I wasn't the best Unnie for her lately, or for the other either. I can't stop myself thinking about her. Is she okay ? Am I overthinking ? Will she feel pressure being our leader ? There's even more unanswered questions that keep repeating over and over in my head. I need those questions to be answered. As soon as possible. I can't handle it anymore.

"Huh.. What's for ? Is there something you're worried about ?," Asa tilted her head to her right, she seemed disturbed by my sudden order. "Yes," was the only word that came out of my mouth. Yes Asa, I'm worried. Not about myself, but about you.

Asa POV :

Okay, now I'm very screwed. Is she really angry because I'm the leader ? Does she want this role ? Right now, she seems very.. hum.. I don't know.. those eyes, I know them, why can't I read them ?Usually, it's really easy for me to read how my members feel just by looking at their eyes. But now, right now, I can't. That's the first time. When she answered yes, I gulped. Now I'm scared. Should I be ?

"Guys, wanna go back home ? I mean dorm. I wanna catch up on my sleep !," Chiquita exclaimed out of nowhere. To be honest, I also wanted to sleep right now.. Well, last night I only slept two hours so.. I guess it's a good idea.

"Yeah me too ! Let's go !," Ahyeon responded. We all nodded before heading to our dorm.

Ruka POV :

As we just arrived in front of the dorm, I suddenly felt like I was about to burst out crying. I can't really tell you why though. Maybe the pressure. Or something else.. Everyone went to their room. I guess they all didn't sleep well this week.

I was on the way to the kitchen to get something to eat, but I noticed Asa sitting on the sofa. I quickly hid behind the wall and watched what she was doing without making any noises. Guess she hasn't seen me yet. Well.. I wasn't expecting her to cry. She seems so.. hopeless. It really broke my heart to see her crying like that, all alone. But she quickly wiped her tears off and gets up and walk towards my direction.

«Fuck !» I thought before running, as fast and soundless as possible in my room. «Ouf.. it was really close,» I told myself. I looked behind my shoulder just to see Rita and Rami asleep peacefully. They're really exhausted. I think I should wake Rora up and tell her to sleep in my room tonight. Yeah, 'cause I will be able to talk face to face with Asa. I need to talk to her right now.

Upon entering their room, I immediately see that Asa's bed was empty and that Rora is still sleeping on the bed above. "Rora-yah," I whispered. "Ugh..," she winced. "Can you sleep in my bed tonight ? I would like to spend this night with Asa," I calmly said since she just wakes up.

"Huh.. oh yeah no problem Unnie. But can you do something for me please ?," "Hum ?" I only mumbled. "Unnie please find out what is going on with Asa Unnie. We're all worried about her but we don't found the courage to ask her..," she said sadly. "Oh, don't worry I'll try to talk to her. To be honest, I asked you to go sleep in my room to speak with her since I know she really feels uncomfortable talking about her feelings, you know ?," I responded to her and tried to comfort her.

"Thank you Ruka Unnie..," she replied quietly with a raspy voice. Guess she is still sleepy. "Now, go sleep back," I said. She nodded and headed to my room. «Now I am waiting for you Asa.»

Asa POV :

I am here. Alone, sitting on the sofa, crying while scrolling on my phone watching some old pictures and videos with me and my family. I miss my mom so much. I wish she would be just here, next to me, hugging me while I'm crying and complaining about my life. I feel miserable right now.

«Stop thinking and go to sleep Asa, you're overthinking,» I told myself before getting up and going to the bathroom to wash my head. I heard a little noise coming from Ruka Unnie, Pharita Unnie and Rami room's, I think I'm just hallucinating.

While I was washing my tears off, I looked up and realized how messed up my hair was and how pitiful I looked. Too sleepy to think about it, I headed to my room. When I entered the room, I was surprised to not see my roommate Rora, but Ruka Unnie, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I need to talk to you, remember ?," she said while looking up at me. I freeze. "Oh huh, yeah, you're right," I said while walking towards her. I sat just next to her and was silent. It took around thirty seconds before she started to talk.

"Asa, tell me everything," she said. "What do you mean Unnie ?," I asked, confused. "Asa, stop, please just stop. Stop keeping everything for you. We're all worried about you. I avoided you for weeks because I knew you were uncomfortable next to me since fans keep comparing us and I totally understand that. But that didn't mean that I ignored you. I keep watching after you and see how tired, anxious, stressed you are," she explained. I was about to reply but she didn't let me. "Something is bothering you and we all know that, all of us do. We all noticed that you started to eat and sleep less. But why Asa ? Why ? Do you know how we're all worried seeing you so tired ?," I just lowered her head down without saying anything. Then she continued. "You can't keep smiling and hiding all your pains forever, you know that right ? You're like my little sister. Seeing you so helpless makes me feel like a shit ! I can't handle seeing you hurting yourself all alone anymore ! I can't ! Do you fucking understand ?!," she screamed while crying.

Ruka POV :

Yeah, I burst out crying. I wanted her to understand that she's not alone. I looked at her, wanting to hear her respond. But she didn't. She just kept her head lowered. I sighed and started speaking again. "I'm sorry for yelling at you Asa, but I just want you to understand that you're not alone here. I think.. no I'm sure that something happened to you. But just know that you can talk about it. I'll be all ear. I'll be the shoulder you can cry on. I asked you just one thing, tell me everything. Let's cry together. Share your pain with me. Please.. I'm begging you, stop keeping your pains to yourself Asa.."

She suddenly looked up at me. Oh man.. if I knew seeing her cry was so painful.. She then burst out crying in front of me. "Unnie..," she whispered with a little voice crack. "Help me.. please..," she said desperately. Oh my, those words. Just those three words hurt me. It hurt me more than I thought. "Asa..," I then immediately hugged her and she started to cry on my shoulder. "You've been really strong, keeping this all to yourself must have been hard, right ? Now, cry baby girl. Let it all flow..," I whispered to her.

After about twenty long minutes, she started to calm down. I then asked her. "Do you think you're ready to told me everything ?," She hesitated a little bit before nodding slowly. "Okay then, I'm all ears. Take your time," I told her with a small smile. She exhaled a deep breath before starting.

"S-so first of all, .."

To be continued..