Hard

Chapter 1

Asa POV :

"Are you okay Unnie ?, " Chiquita asked me.

"I'm good, don't worry, just a little tired from practices a guess," I lied to her.

We, BABYMONSTER, are preparing our debut with our first mini-album as a 7 members group since Ahyeon's finally back from her hiatus. We're all working hard on it, well, we're all tired but we kept chasing our dream. After all, we share the same dream : debuts .

Everyone seems so happy and excited about debuting, I am too, it would be lying if I told you the opposite. But I am also very scared and anxious. A lot of things have happened lately : Ruka and me avoiding each other since fans kept comparing us, and I really hate it. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. Also, my mom died about a week ago, no one knew about it except me and my family. I am really sad cause I couldn't go to her funeral since I'm close to my debut. She was rooting for me... and she had to leave me now. I also feel pressured since YG wants me to write my rap verse for a special clip for our debut song : SHEESH. But I've got absolutely no ideas of what to write. I wanted to write what I really feel, but I can't. It wouldn't fit with the song.

To be honest, I really want to share with my members what I really feel and stop hiding my pain with all those fake smiles and words, but at the same time I didn't want to stress them out more than they already are. I don't want to be a burden for them. I preferred hurting myself and suffering alone more than sharing my pain with them.

"Are you really sure ? You seem very tired Asa Unnie," Chiquita asked, with a worry face. I remained silent. "Unnie, I want you to know that if something bothers you, I'll be all ears," She told me with a warm smile. I wanted to cry, to tell her everything, but, but I can't. I just can't. « Help me... » Those words, they don't want to get out of my mouth. I clear my throat and respond. "I am really okay, really, don't worry about me Canny, you should worry about you instead, you seem exhausted."

"I am, but I know that all that hard work will pay later. Plus, I know all our fans will cheer us up so I'm not worried about this anymore," Chiquita responded.

"We're here !" The driver announced.

We all came down and thanked the driver.

Ruka Unnie put the key in the door lock of our dorm. As soon as the door opens, everyone runs into the kitchen and opens the fridge. "Huh... there's nothing left..." Pharita Unnie said. I unlocked my phone and... "11 PM" I mumbled to myself. I sighed and said loudly. "I'm gonna go buy something to eat. What do you want to eat guys ?" "Tteokbokki !" Rami shouted out from the kitchen. "Okay, then I am going now !" I replied. Everybody nodded happily.

After buy the meal :

I arrived in front of our building dorm. I feel like I am gonna pass out if I don't go to sleep. Two days without sleeping, plus training, tired is the only word that can describe how I'm feeling right now. Those past few days were disastrous. I feel so stressed and anxious, with a lot of negative thoughts. "No, stop Asa, think positive, you're gonna debut soon, so many people fail to be where you are right now, you can't give up so easily, you'll debut with your lovely members, now smile," I sighed before heading into the building.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw everyone rushing past me, except Ruka. She was sitting on the sofa, checking me from head to toe. "Alright, dinner's ready !" I said with a fake smile on my face. "Oh my gad ! You took my favorite one ! Unnie, you're the best, thank you !" Rora said while hugging me. "Huh..." I mumbled. "Guys, are you gonna let me get in or what ?" I said jokingly. "Oh, right, sorry ! Just really excited," Ahyeon responded.

"Hum... guys, ate without me I'm not really hungry right now, I'm gonna sleep," I said.

"But Asa Unnie, that's the third meal you've missed this week," pointed out Ahyeon. "Ahyeon-nni is right Asa, come eat with us, a little bit at least," Pharita Unnie tried to convince me. Everyone's eyes were on me, except Ruka. She seems to be thinking about something. I tried to find an excuse. "Huh... don't worry guys I'm okay, hum... I'm just very tired lately and I'm not very hungry anymore," I wasn't lying, I feel exhausted those past few days. They all exchanged glances before Rami replied. "If you say so, but don't miss any meals after Unnie, we don't want you to get sick just before our debut," I just nodded before heading to my room.

Ruka POV :

I'm very worried. I've been avoiding Asa for the past few weeks now because our fans kept comparing us and I know Asa feels uncomfortable with it. But that didn't mean that I didn't watch after her either. I felt like something was off. She's been really distanced lately. There's something she hides from us, but what ? I really wanna know, cause I'm really curious and because I'm starting to become more and more worried about her. But at the same time I think that she didn't want us to worry about her. No. I'm sure of it. Let's be honest, I am very anxious because our debut approaches, and all the members are too. But something about Asa feels really off. I really wanna put my hands on it but I can't yet. I couldn't stop thinking about it when we were eating. I really wanna know, but I think I should wait. Yeah, I'll let her open her heart when she is ready. Let's just hope it won't take too long...

Asa POV :

As soon as I arrived into my room, I dived into my bed. I wanted to sleep, I needed to sleep, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Crying, that was what I've been doing when the other girls were sleeping. Let's say that I'm a very good liar. It's a good thing make-up exists, otherwise other people would have noticed my dark circles under my eyes straight away. I can't sleep. Rora, my roommate, even had time to finish eating, change and fall asleep before I did. Guess she was also really tired that she didn't even notice that I wasn't asleep. Now, I just hope the night passes quickly.

Hi guys ! This the first book I wrote. Hope you'll like it. English is not my first language so please don't be too harsh towards me :,)
Well, see you soon guys ~
Luv yall ❤️