Last night was actually an okay night. After the discussion with Briggs at the end of the school day, I was able to free my mind and release all the tension at basketball practice. Sports always make me feel better.
I didn't self harm last night, I didn't feel a need to. After the initial explosion of emotions from talking to Briggs wore off, I was starting to feel a sense of relief. I'm grateful he kept my secret and I'm looking forward to having someone to talk to about it. Now I have an even higher level of trust in Briggs and having that makes me feel safe.
Sitting in my first period psychology class, I am trying to focus. I take good notes at the beginning of class and am feeling proud of the effort I'm putting in. The teacher hands out a chapter review worksheet for us to work on in preparation for a test in two days.
I confidently write my name and the date on the top of the paper.
Question One: something about some theory that I have no clue about. The worksheet covers the entire chapter, not just the one section we learned today.
Fuck.
I get pissed. I don't know anything from previous sections because I sure as hell was not paying attention. I was thinking of ways to kill myself.
I give up on the worksheet review. It's too much work to go back and learn all the information; that's too exhausting. I was doing good for a few moments, but now it's back to not doing anything in class. The cycle completes another loop.
"Can I use the bathroom?" I ask the teacher, just looking for an excuse to leave the classroom.
"Yes, take the hall pass," she responds.
On my way back from the bathroom I see Briggs walking down the hallway towards me. Is he ever just in his office doing work?
"You're everywhere," I say as we approach each other.
"You're just never in class," Briggs says playfully.
"Ha ha true," I say with a smile.
"But really, why aren't you in class?"
"Uhhh, well if you need to know I had to use the bathroom..." I say awkwardly.
"Got it. On your way back to class now?" Briggs asks.
"Yup... see ya later," I say and begin to head back to class.
"Wait a second," he says and looks around to make sure the hall is empty; it is.
"Yeah," I say.
He whispers, "how are you today?"
"Okay," I answer.
"Did you...," he looks at my wrist, "... last night?"
"No," I answer.
"Oh good, I'm really happy to hear that," he says. I half-smile.
"I was actually coming to get you from class," he says.
"Oh?" I ask.
"I want to talk to you in my office," he says.
"About yesterday?" I ask.
"Yes, come on," he says as we walk back to my class. Briggs tells the teacher he's taking me for the rest of the period and I grab my things.
Once again I walk through the halls with Briggs feeling awkward to be seen with an administrator.
"After you," Briggs says as he directs me to go into his office. I reach for the door, open it, and see the school guidance counselor sitting right there, in Briggs' office, waiting.
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Water on the Moon
General Fiction***TRIGGER WARNING*** Seventeen year old Luna Henderson has just begun her senior year of high school, but is she ready? Last year, the star athlete and former straight A student found herself quickly declining into a deep depression, consumed with...