Water on the Moon

Chapter 16 - No One Said it Would Be Easy

Last night was actually an okay night. After the discussion with Briggs at the end of the school day, I was able to free my mind and release all the tension at basketball practice. Sports always make me feel better.

I didn't self harm last night, I didn't feel a need to. After the initial explosion of emotions from talking to Briggs wore off, I was starting to feel a sense of relief. I'm grateful he kept my secret and I'm looking forward to having someone to talk to about it. Now I have an even higher level of trust in Briggs and having that makes me feel safe.

Sitting in my first period psychology class, I am trying to focus. I take good notes at the beginning of class and am feeling proud of the effort I'm putting in. The teacher hands out a chapter review worksheet for us to work on in preparation for a test in two days.

I confidently write my name and the date on the top of the paper.

Question One: something about some theory that I have no clue about. The worksheet covers the entire chapter, not just the one section we learned today.

Fuck.

I get pissed. I don't know anything from previous sections because I sure as hell was not paying attention. I was thinking of ways to kill myself.

I give up on the worksheet review. It's too much work to go back and learn all the information; that's too exhausting. I was doing good for a few moments, but now it's back to not doing anything in class. The cycle completes another loop.

"Can I use the bathroom?" I ask the teacher, just looking for an excuse to leave the classroom.

"Yes, take the hall pass," she responds.

On my way back from the bathroom I see Briggs walking down the hallway towards me. Is he ever just in his office doing work?

"You're everywhere," I say as we approach each other.

"You're just never in class," Briggs says playfully.

"Ha ha true," I say with a smile.

"But really, why aren't you in class?"

"Uhhh, well if you need to know I had to use the bathroom..." I say awkwardly.

"Got it. On your way back to class now?" Briggs asks.

"Yup... see ya later," I say and begin to head back to class.

"Wait a second," he says and looks around to make sure the hall is empty; it is.

"Yeah," I say.

He whispers, "how are you today?"

"Okay," I answer.

"Did you...," he looks at my wrist, "... last night?"

"No," I answer.

"Oh good, I'm really happy to hear that," he says. I half-smile.

"I was actually coming to get you from class," he says.

"Oh?" I ask.

"I want to talk to you in my office," he says.

"About yesterday?" I ask.

"Yes, come on," he says as we walk back to my class. Briggs tells the teacher he's taking me for the rest of the period and I grab my things.

Once again I walk through the halls with Briggs feeling awkward to be seen with an administrator.

"After you," Briggs says as he directs me to go into his office. I reach for the door, open it, and see the school guidance counselor sitting right there, in Briggs' office, waiting.