War of the Gods: generation one

Chapter 6

Things with Yin and his forces were a little too quiet. We didn't complain, it was very welcome to have some sort of peace. It gave us time to relax a bit, train, and do our jobs as gods. Virgo and Pisces recently celebrated their anniversary together and it got me thinking about how I'm going to propose to Helena. We never talked about marriage. It just never came up. I went to look for her.

"Hey, do you know where Helena is?" I asked a servant.

"Umm, last I saw her she went towards the hot springs. I'm pretty sure she's relaxing there right now."

"Alright, thanks." I jogged over to the hot springs and knocked on the fence covering it

"Yes?" I heard her say.

"Got room for one more?"

"Oh! Yang! Yeah, come in."

I went around into the bathhouse and came out into the spring after stripping and putting a towel around myself. I went in and sat next to her. She kissed my cheek.

"Need a break?"

"Honestly, yes I did," I said. "But I was also looking for you."

"Why?"

"Well, I..." I let my voice trail off as I blushed. "I wanted to talk to you about getting married eventually."

"Oh."

"It's been on my mind for a while, I just never brought it up due to everything that's been going on."

She nodded and got closer to me.

"It's a daunting idea. I'm not sure if I'm ready."

"I'll wait forever if I need to."

"To be blatantly honest, I've been thinking about our relationship."

"How so?" I asked.

"It's mostly about... your temper," she told me. "It's a little scary and I'm worried that you might... hurt someone."

"Helena, Helena no. I'd never hurt anyone, especially not you." I moved some of her hair out of her face. She looked down and held my hand.

"I think you're a little overprotective and possessive, even more so after that huge battle," she told me. "You need to realize that I'm not a helpless damsel."

"I never thought you were!" I retorted. "I'm just... concerned."

"See this is what I mean. I know you're concerned and care about me, but I feel like it's starting to go to extreme lengths."

"How so?"

"You wanted a guard to accompany me wherever I went. I'm perfectly capable of handling myself. I'm glad Virgo talked you out of it."

I sighed and looked down.

"Yang, I think we need a break."

"Wait what?" I asked, surprised.

"I'm not breaking up with you, I'm just saying we need some time apart to rethink everything."

"But I..." I trailed off.

"Give it some time okay?"

She left the hot spring. I sat there, not even sure what to feel. I felt sad, angry, and confused. Nothing made sense to me. It made me see that Helena was right. I did depend on her too much to help regulate me. But I still worry for her.

I sat in the hot spring for another hour just trying to calm myself down. I was considering getting a therapist for myself at the time and I did eventually get one. I managed to work on my anger issues and codependency issues. I never realized how low my self-esteem was until working with the therapist. I thought I had improved my self-esteem by helping the worshipers, as they were mostly happy. I was happy if they were happy and it made me feel like a good ruler.