Tainted (nonbinary mc x man)

Chapter 1

A/N: Just in case you are like me and don't read author notes, I want my readers to be aware that Toma is a non-binary character. He/him pronouns are used for about half of the story, until Toma learns more about themself and what being non-binary is. The pronouns will switch to they/them at this point and Toma being non-binary will be addressed. Thank you! Enjoy the story!

A/N 2: Small changes were made to this chapter as of 7/19/2024. These changes do not affect the plot of the story. 

Falling into a snowy, rocky valley off the top of a mountain is a lot less likely than people think. As long as you are cautious, it is perfectly reasonable for someone to reach the top – or bottom, in this case – safely. Toma had accomplished this hundreds of times. He was adept at it. His hands were rough and calloused from traversing the rocky interface over the years. So it was an extraordinarily terrifying surprise that his normal route ended abruptly when he placed his foot in a precarious spot, the rock slipping from underneath him in an instant. His eyes widened, air catching in his throat as he fell backward.

Ten feet was a long way to fall.

To say he was dazed was an understatement. The world blurred a bit around him, and all he could feel for a moment was the adrenaline coursing through him, turning his mouth dry and his thoughts fuzzy. He counted his breaths, slowly trying to calm down and come back to himself.

The first thing he felt after the panicky feelings subsided was cold. Toma shivered as the snow around him began to seep through his clothes, making them cling to his body. A sharp wind blew past, hitting his already wet and cold form, effectively shocking him back to reality. His shivering intensified, his face slowly turning pink.

Toma let out a heavy sigh and looked up at the rocky surface of the ravine in reproach, as if it had done this on purpose, as if he expected it to admit it was wrong and ensure it would never happen again.

At least I'm alive, he reasoned with himself, reaching up to rest a hand over his heart. It was still beating fast, his body recovering from the scare. Hopefully no one heard him when he fell. He didn't think he'd cried out, but now the memory of him falling was so fuzzy, as if it had been years ago instead of seconds. He wasn't sure if any sound had come from him at all, or if he'd frozen and fell silently, like a stone sinking into water.

If he had made noise, if his escape was somehow discovered, he would never be able to sneak out again. As it was, Toma was often ignored by everyone, which was truly a blessing when he wanted to slip away from his home without anyone questioning him. On the other hand, it meant that, had he fallen to his death, it probably would have taken at least a week for someone to notice his absence. So yes, it was a blessing, but it was also a horrifying curse. Nonetheless, he hadn't died, and no one was peeking out of the tall windows in the building above him, nor were they peering over the edge of the ravine in confusion, so he'd take it as a win... with an unexpected twist.

As Toma pushed himself up, he grabbed onto the rocky side of the ravine to steady himself, adjusting the long, dark green cloak on his shoulders. It was soaked through and covered in snow. No matter how he tried, he couldn't seem to brush it all off, the powder sticking to the fabric. He kept wiping at it until his fingers started going numb from the cold. Only then did he sigh in defeat, his arms dropping heavily to his sides.

It was no use to fuss over his appearance any longer. He had to keep moving. After all, his original plan had been to escape from his gilded cage for a little bit and see the real world. It had been nearly six months since he'd been outside and he was starting to look pale – even for someone who was from a country where no one stayed outdoors for long due to the frigid air.