Nothing is, but what is not // John Shelby

XX

For Beth there was nothing as exciting as the day of the premiere. The day when everything was ready, but at the same time everyone felt equally unprepared and wishing for more time to practice. For the last time Beth was checking the costumes, before the actors would put them on and go on stage. She hasn't found any loosened thread or a missing button... That should have calmed her down, but now, as she was standing in the wings, watching the play, she couldn't not bite her lip, trying to remember if there was something she could've missed.

Everything went perfectly. But only when the actors bowed, and left the stage, Beth was able to feel true relief. Flowers were thrown on stage, while backstage people were already celebrating. Hugging each other, whispering about what went well, and where they missed some lines. Beth was not able to express how much she missed this exact moment. Being backstage with people who act out stories which made her love theatre in the first place. Someone's hand touched her shoulder to get her attention.

"Beth, someone awaits you" it was Maud. She took Beth's wrist, pulling her from the crowd of actors "In the hallway" she added, but she hadn't explained anything more, already walking away to the people who wanted to greet her.

Beth fixed the way her skirt rested on her hips. As always, it was covered in threads of different colours. The sleeves of her shirt were unevenly rolled up. Mary never answered to her letter where she invited her to see the play, but Beth felt her heart beating happily, when she thought about finally seeing her friend. She opened the door. There were many men in the hallway, waiting for the actresses they knew, or wished to meet, because of their beauty. Some of them looked at Beth, but without any interest. She looked around, trying to find Mery's tiny silhouette.

"Sweetheart" she heard, and turned to the left, where there stood John, leaning against the wall. Holding flowers. Unusual sight. John himself was not an usual sight anymore. Beth hadn't seen him since Christmas, when he pushed her outside through the door. After that she only heard two shots. In the bakery someone was talking about another arrests that happened, but she was not listening to this very carefully. The first weeks of January she spent lacking sleep, working on the costumes for the play, and her world was limited to the stage and her sewing room. All those responsibilities made her forget about every other thing in the world.

"Johnny" huge relief came to her mind, when she saw his usual, playful smirk on his lips. Beth was not aware how much she worried about him, not knowing anything about what happened to him.

She hugged him strongly, closing her eyes, when he pulled her closer. Her fingers clenched on his jacket, her face buried in his shoulder. The warmth of his body was so close, so real. His chest was moving slightly with his breath. Beth wanted to laugh and cry at once. One of his hands tangled in her freshly cut hair.

"Come on, sweetheart" John whispered into her ear, gently making her move away. Her lips were shaking slightly, her grey eyes stared into his as if he was not real, made his smile soften "It's your day" he stroked her cheek, giving her the bouquet of tiny red roses.

"Did you like it?" Beth asked, sniffing.

"None of the costumes ripped" John answered diplomatically, trying not to upset her with his ignorance again. His hands moved down her shoulders "That is a success" the girl rubbed her eyes and smiled softly. They were so close. She could see every little detail of John's face. His cold eyes with dark circles, which were still smiling at her, one or two freckles scattered on his skin, and lovely, pink lips. Lips, which she reached with hers, rising onto her toes. Lips, which were surprisingly soft against her own, and which twitched in a satisfied smile, when John put his hands around Beth's waist, pulling her closer.

"If I knew you would greet me like that, I would have given you flowers way earlier" he murmured, as their eyes were still half-closed and her breath mixed together.

"Where were you?" Beth's eyes became serious again. She saw the exhaustion on his face, probably caused by the lack of sleep, which she herself knew very well. At the edge of his jaw there was a purple bruise, spreading down his neck, which was smartly masked by the high collar of his shirt.

"Beth..." the man stroked her cheek with his thumb, but she was not about to lose track.

"John, I see that something happened to you" her hand brushed the bruised skin gently.

"We got arrested that night" he muttered reluctantly. To his surprise Beth didn't step back with fear, as she did the last time when she found out about his past. But was it really the past?

"But why..."

"Being a Shelby is giving you protection only to the moment when you're not put in jail" John explained bluntly, when Beth looked at his bruise again. He saw how the whole excitement about the play is slowly fading, replaced by some darker thoughts.

"I hoped for a trip backstage" he nudged her with an elbow, winking at her with a sweet smile.