Welcome, whomever dared to read this monstrosity.
I'm here today to tell you a tragic tale of botanical romance. One that, frankly, shouldn't exist.
So let us begin with a hippie named River:
River stepped out of her front door, her shoulder-length red hair flowing in the slight breeze. She pulled her long tie dye skirt up so as not to trap it in the door.
It was a fine, lovely, warm day. The sun shone, and a welcoming wind hugged her skin. She had decided to go for a nice walk through the forest to reconnect with nature in true hippie fashion.
Making her way toward the forest entrance, merely one or two blocks over from her house, she began mentally lamenting about how single she was. She joked that she would even date a tree if it was attractive enough.
She reached the forest entrance. Hearing the rustle of the trees and the scent of dirt, it was second nature to her. (Pun intended) She began to walk through, slowly admiring the scenery around her.
Until something caught hold of her leg.
She instinctively pulled her leg away, but it didn't budge. River looked down to see a long green vine ever so neatly wrapped around her calf.
"What the fu -" she whispered as she reached down, going to untangle the vine.
The vine is not moving but is, in fact, growing tighter around her leg.
As she wrestled with the vine on her leg, she felt something grab the back of her neck and lift her head up.
River tries to move her head to look around but is held still. She moved her arm to the back of her neck to try and remove whatever it was.
"Vines?" she questioned, confused.
She felt another vine reach around her waist and squeeze her slightly.
"Alright what the fuck" She wrestled with the multitude of vines frustrating her.
"There's no need to fight me, dear." A daunting voice whispered around her head.
"Hello? Who said that!?"
"I did,"
River looked up for her gaze to meet that of... a tangle of vines?
This tall, dark leafy green tangle stood before her. She stood in awe, unable to comprehend what she's looking at. The vine bundle had vines on the ground, almost as legs. A thick vine at the top of the tangle with a white, crumpled flower on it resembling a head. And a multitude of other vines reaching out of its body to hold River.
"W-What are you,"
"I'm a plant, my dear."
"Well, what do you want? Let me go!"
"I'm afraid i can't do that, sweetheart."
The plant steps closer, almost sniffing her.
"It's been so long since I've seen such a sweet treat like you walk through these grounds."
"I've been looking for the perfect mate, and i think I've finally found her."
River, confused and slightly aroused, tries to escape the mess of vines on her body.
"Oh nono, you're not going anywhere, my dear."
