Tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway// Blackhill

Chapter 7

She could do this. She could totally do this. This was obviously the best time to say something anyway. If she didn't do something now, she didn't know if she would ever do it.

Currently, Maria was pacing back and forth in her room trying to figure out how exactly is she, Hardass Hill, supposed to confess her very confusing feelings to Natasha Romanoff, otherwise known as the world's ex most deadliest assassin.

See, this would be a very easy thing if Maria was normal. If she were normal, Maria would probably have a group of friends, or at least one friend, who she could talk to about all of this and ask for help. If she were normal, she may even have a parent or sibling she could reach out to and ask for advice. If she were normal, she wouldn't have to worry about paparazzi flashing their cameras at her everywhere she goes. If she were normal, she'd be able to stew in her thoughts about this without wondering when she'll be involved in saving the world again and potentially dying in the process. If she were normal. Maria wasn't normal, though, and neither was Natasha. So she had no idea what to do.

She's been at this for twenty minutes now, but if anyone asks her (why would they) she'd deny all of it. Maria Hill didn't do feelings. She did extensive paperwork, missing reports, delegating everything for literally everyone, and overall general badassery work that never required emotions to get intertwined. So that's exactly why she was loosing her mind at 2'O clock in the afternoon when she should be looking over contracts.

Maria knew that she should go over to Natasha and say something, at the very least a- congratulations?- on finally getting cleared for duty. It's been a little over two months since Natahsy got shot. She would've been cleared sooner, usually, and a lot sooner on Natasha's account, but she had to sit out longer because the wound was near a previous wound from a few months prior, and also because of the amount of shrapnel, some that was infected because she had let it sit for so long, that dug into her back.

Maybe she could bring some wine, Natasha prefered beer, to celebrate it. Would that be weird? She didn't know. After all, she was the one assigned to look after her for the time being. And yeah, at first it was kind of insufferable because of Natasha's constant flirting and her insistent need to piss Maria off, but they'd grown accustomed to one another as time went on.

They had a system. They'd wake up at the buttcrack of dawn, do some stretches and running for warm up. Then they'd do some more labor intensive workouts and sometimes spar. They'd shower and go their seperate ways until lunch and then they'd eat lunch together. Many times, Maria found Natasha knocking on her office door, two plates of food in hand because she knew Maria hadn't eaten yet and likely wouldn't eat until she was done, sometimes not even that. Sometimes, it would be Maria carrying the food to Natasha while she was in the gym, either not noticing or not caring what time it was. Then they'd do some more sparring if Maria's schedule allowed for it, but mostly, they'd split until suppertime, Maria changing Natasha's bandages and checking the rest of her injuries for improvement afterward. Then they'd go to sleep and do it all again.

Sometimes, on really odd, but not unwelcome, days, Natasha would stay in Maria's office and watch her work. At first, Maria could tell it was purely to piss her off. But, as time wore on, Natasha's vists became quite pleasant. Sometimes she'd sit, silently reading one of the books Maria had on her shelf. Other times, she'd look at some of the documents, the one's Maria was allowed to discuss with her, that Maria was going over and study them. And other times, she'd simply sit and watch Maria work. This would be annoying and borderline creepy if it was anyone but Natasha. With Natasha, though, it felt nice. Peaceful, even. Maria liked those days the best, though she would never admit it aloud.

While Maria doesn't really realize it until now, Natasha had been ingrained into her everyday life. Seeing her was just as routine as getting her morning coffee everyday. She should be confused, freaked out, and even scared. Instead, though, she felt content and relaxed, like it was the most normal revelation ever. Maria supposed this was a good thing. That it meant she wasn't scared about living a life with Natasha. Well, no, she was down right terrified of having a life with Natasha, but she could definitely imagine herself having one, and it didn't seem like a bad idea either.