Tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway// Blackhill

chapter 1

A/N: Hey y'all! So, this is a fanfic I transferred over from ao3. However, I never beta read any of the chapters I released over there, so this is the beta read version. I also changed the ending a bit. I'll probably be re-releasing these new beta read versions to ao3 soon. Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

Sitting in her room in SHIELD's Helicarrier suspended from duty because of a bum leg and a mission gone wrong was not how Natasha imagined she'd spend her weekend, but here she was. She usually wouldn't let such a small (by Natasha's standard) injury keep her back from a mission, but Fury had practically grounded her. 'We need you at your best' he said, knowing damn well she was better than any of his other agents even with her shot leg. Well, Barton was an exception. Natasha considered him as an equal. Maybe not in the range of skill she had, but his level of skill was that of the only other SHIELD agent that could rival hers. 

Natasha's thoughts drifted to Clint. She wondered how the mission was going. Clint and the rest of the Avengers were sent on a recon mission to Saudi Arabia to see what they could gather about an ongoing weapons deal. According to SHIELD intel, the weapons had Asgardian tech in them. Leathal was an understatement. Unfortunately, while the rest of them were on a mission, even if it was only recon, she was stuck in this damn flying fortress. If only that mission hadn't gone wrong. 

Their last mission was to infiltrate a warehouse that was said to be a safe house for Hydra operatives. Their intel was right, but they were ambushed, which resulted in her being hit in the leg while supplying cover for Clint and Steve. Of course, the ex-assassin is the only one who gets injured. She rolls her eyes at the thought. 

A knock at her door interrupts her thoughts. Who the hell could it be? It couldn't be any of the Avengers for obvious reasons. It wasn't Fury, he would've either sent someone else (and he usually sends some lower agent, she can tell by the knock that it isn't) or, if it was that important, announced himself and then pretty much all but barged in. Everyone part of the med bay was too scared to look her in the eye unless she was unconscious or doped up, so it couldn't be them. Which left one person on her list she could think of. 

"What do you want, Hill?" Silence passed for a few seconds, but Natasha already knew it was because Hill was thinking. 

"How'd you know it was me?" came in a muffled tone from behind the door. 

Natasha scoffed. She knew Hill couldn't hear it, but she couldn't stop herself either. 

"Easy, process of elimination. Now what do you want?"

Natasha really didn't have time to be lectured on getting injured right now, or on anything. Well, she did have the time, she just didn't want to deal with it. And if Hill is talking, it's either to debrief, bark out orders, or to scold someone, and Natasha didn't really want to feel like some child being chewed out about 'not being safe enough' or some bullshit. Afterall, that's all it was. Hill was a soldier. She knew that sometimes injury wasn't avoidable, but that doesn't mean she won't take any chance she got to scold Natasha on something. It's pretty much been their entire dynamic since her defection to SHIELD. She would either piss someone off, hurt someone, or hurt herself (not intentionally, most of the time) and every single time, Hill would be there chewing her ass out for it.

Speaking of Hill, she was taking longer than usual to reply. Natasha thought she had left when she heard Hill's voice speak up. "Fury sent me to check up on you." 

"Why?" 

She heard Hill sigh behind the door, which was weird considering how thick these doors were. "You hate the med bay pretty much more than anything on the Helicarrier, and Clint and sometimes Steve are pretty much the only people you'll let bandage you up. Since they're not here and I know that, while you may not have said it in debriefing, you have some shrapnel in your back from the explosion during the ambush, Fury sent me to patch you up."