The Ultimate Fandom Crossover

"Hello?!"

"Oh good Lord!"

"Where am I?"

"Solitaire, is this you?"

The seven characters stand in a circle. It is as if they've spawned there like in Minecraft.

"Yo what's good my dudes,"

"Why is there a man... in the sky...."

"I am Christian Borle, The Sun God and I have created a game. You are all characters which this kid called Billy in the real world loves for some unknown reason and everybody thinks they're crazy because of it. Your job is to prove who is the best. Introducing... Noel Gruber, from Ride The Cyclone."

Noel steps forward and basks in the light of The Great Heavenly Sun God.

"In my life, I was Noel Gruber who worked at Taco Bell in Uranium city..."

"Alright, that's emo, NEXT!" Christian barks as Tori Spring steps forward "Tori Spring from the Heartstopper novels, making her book-end debut in Solitaire."

"Nobody understands me. Solitaire are trying to kill me. My brothers been fucking some guy called Nick Nelson who loves his dog more than him. I also confronted my brother about having sex with Nick on a Ferris wheel at the school fate."

Tori stares around the circle and they all stare at her, traumatised.

"Uheuam. Well that's a little weird considering Billy made an edit of you to the song 'Barbie Girl' in 2022, anyways, next up we have TommyInnit! We were going to have Wilbur Soot on the show but it turns out he was an abuser and we don't want to get cancelled like him. Anyways, give it up for TommyInnit!"

The six people applaud as Tommy makes his way into the middle of the circle.

"Hello. My name is Tom Simons. I love women. Thank you."

The whole circle applaud.

"So real. Anyways, next up we have some weird-ass world war two military guy who died of a heart attack trying to fake his way into a furry convention or sumthink."

The Captain makes his way into the centre of the circle.

"I am The Captain and I helped send Jerry back where he belongs in the war. Although I was not on the front lines, me and Button House Eleven's work was crucial to ending the war. However, they did not send me my service revolver which was a little harsh-"

"LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR THE CAPTAIN!"

The whole circle applaud.

"And next we have some guy from the American Revolutionary war who went to France and got pissed while half of his country died, let's give it up for Thomas Jefferson from Hamilton!"

"My name is Thomas Jefferson. Wait, hold up, what did I miss? Sorry, I've only just got here I was taxing people to give me money."

"Uhuam little bit of a red flag but OK! Next on the list we have... Whizzer Brown?! But - oh wait - Whizzer? Is that you? I thought you had died!"

"Yes, it is me, Whizzer Brown. I have returned from going down to Florida which I had to take a quick departure from my body to do. But I' back and as fit as a fiddle."

The whole crowd gasp.

"That's amazing."

"What did bro die of AIDS? That's so uncool."

"Wait who let a six year old into the studio?!"

"HEY! I AM NOT SIX YOU FUCKING JEW!"

"Can somebody please call security?"

"Screw you guys, I'm going home."

Eric walks off into the distance.

"Oh uhem ok. And last of all we have.... Connor McKinley?!"

"Hey. I'm some delusional gay Mormon boy who tap dances in a pink waistcoat whilst my friends spill the tea about their trauma. I also think that the new guy who's rocked up is super cute and I have a chance with him! I do not.."

"Yes. Ladies and Gentlemen! We have a winner!"

"What, just because that weird guy on earth can relate to him, that's why he gets to be the winner?"

"Yes. That is very much so."