Lessons in Love

Chapter 9

Lucas drank 3 cups of coffee and still felt like a slug. He knew he had screwed up royally and he needed to fix it. The question was how?

He had tossed and turned all night long, regretting his words and the stricken look on Aria's face after he said them. He wasn't trying to make light of their relationship; he just wanted her to see it from the perspective of the people outside of it, who might be judging them. His flip comment had slipped out before he had a chance to filter it. Aria had trusted him with the story of her heartbreak with Jake, and how had he repaid that trust? By making a joke about it at the worst possible moment. He was scum. He was the mud outside on his back steps. He was the gum stuck underneath the desks at school. He was...wasting his time.

Lucas thought about Aria's gentle, caring personality. About the reserve she showed to the world, which hid a soul with depth and intense feeling. He remembered the few times he had seen her laugh, and how she seemed to glow when she let herself give in to the humor of the moment. He thought of the love that Aria showed Dizzy and of the commitment she had made to him as her companion. That was no small thing to Lucas. And he thought of her warm and caring way with Lily, whether they were in class or outside of it. Aria had so much room in her heart.

And he remembered the feel of her lips under his. There was passion, sure, but it was so much more than that. He knew that if Aria didn't care about him, she wouldn't have kissed him. When she kissed him, Lucas felt as if she were pouring her whole soul into it, sharing herself with him in trust and in love. The same love he felt for her.

And he realized at that moment, as he sipped his fourth cup of coffee, that she was in love with him, too. He didn't know why he hadn't seen that before. Aria had given him this amazing gift, and he had made light of it, made it into the worst kind of joke.

He had to do something. He had to let her know how sorry he was, and that he cared deeply for her. That he couldn't imagine life without her. He stopped drinking the coffee and went to hop in the shower. It was time for action.

*****

Lucas pulled up in front of Aria's house and rehearsed what he was going to say. After running through it twice in his head, he got out of his truck and walked to the front door. He rang the bell. He waited. And waited. There was nothing but silence. No Dizzy peeking through the sheer curtains over the side windows, no click of Aria coming to answer the door.

Okay, he thought. He didn't want to handle it this way, but he didn't have any choice. He pulled out his phone and clicked on her contact. The phone rang once and went straight to voicemail. He tried several more times, and each time the same thing happened. Lucas sat down on Aria's front step and texted Aria. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. PLEASE CALL ME. He waited and waited. And waited some more. Nothing.

Needing to do something, he got back in his truck and drove to Helen's house. As he approached the front door, he heard barking and saw Dizzy peek out the window. He heaved a sigh of relief and rang the doorbell.

Helen answered promptly. She smiled at him, but it was a sad smile. "Hello, Lucas. I've been expecting you." Dizzy wiggled out to bump against Lucas.

"You have?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to see Aria. May I talk to her?"

"I wish you could, but she's not here."

"She's not here?"

"No."

"Okay, where is she?"

Helen hesitated, having some kind of argument with herself. "She doesn't want you to know where she is..."