⸻ ( Gojo Satoru )
With heaven in his eyes and the taste of immortal divinity on his lips, she loves him with such ardour that the stars weep bitterly into the sea.
( jujutsu kaisen ) • 2023
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( 2005 - 2011 )
Summer blooms for him in shades of red. It is the colour of her eyes, the flush in her cheeks and the tint of her lips. The setting sun caught in her hair, the glow of a cigarette and the chipped paint of her nails. She smiles like effervescence and her laughter has the taste of Calpis sours at two in the morning with their feet dipped in the school's swimming pool. The moments are captured in polaroid and buried in his chest. Moments that he dares not touch or look at because he knows she is not his and will never be.
Exorcise. Absorb. Repeat.
Envy is a shade of blue that he loathes to admit. It is the colour of her favourite soft drink, the sapphire ring she wears and the eyes of the boy she adores. ( It's not him ) Her gaze is always set above her while he stands firmly by her side. The azure blue sky swallows him in its vastness but she soars upon high heavens in bliss. He drowns beneath the warm ocean currents where her heart belongs and all he can grasp is silt. Summer dissolves in his mouth and it tastes like saltwater in mid-July, peeling oranges in the middle of the night and a pricked finger trickling blood.
It tastes worse than the cursed spirits he absorbs.
Her absence is louder than the silence. It buzzes in his ears like cicadas outside the window, like the pattering of rain in April and the clapping of sun-wrinkled palms. The sun beats on the back of his neck and the cicadas keep dying outside. He wants to do something but instead, he sits and stares at the wall as his thoughts consume him. It keeps him up at night and he can't sleep, he can't even eat with the taste of summer still fresh on his tongue. Would things have been different if she had stayed?
A lot can happen in one year; lovers turn to strangers, friends turn to acquaintances and people turn to ghosts. Promises made in the moment are forgotten and cherished faces fade away from memory. He doesn't remember her being so small, he doesn't remember her eyes being so sad. As if she had planted an orchard filled with fruits bearing regret and anguish, then gorged on their bitter pulp and juice. ( Was he not the same? ) His name sounds different from her lips.
