Luka & Izzy

Eight: Something only we have

I'm going to Luka's to talk to him.

I put on my trainers, grab my keys and phone and I'm already rushing to the lift to his floor and straight into his flat.

My hands are sweaty, my heart is pounding, I have a lump in my throat, but it feels right.

Let's talk.

When I get to the door, I ring the bell.

I wait, I wait.

I ring again.

Then I hear footsteps.

Slowly, someone opens the door.

Luka is standing there, headphones around his neck, looking at me.

"What are you doing here? "He asks.

" Sorry I'm late, but I want to apologise for asking you out of the flat earlier, but Beth surprised me. I hadn't seen her... "I say, looking down at the floor. I can't do this.

I can't do this.

"Since the funeral..." Luka continues.

" Yes, that's right. "I turn away and look into his eyes. When I look into his eyes, it seems that there is nothing around us anymore. That it's just us.

" I'm sorry, I don't talk to anyone about this, about him, except my therapist. It's been a hard few months for me. I isolated myself from everyone because I didn't know any other way, because it didn't feel right that I was alive and he was dead. The truth comes out of my mouth," I say.

I step closer to Luke and turn my brain off and my heart on.

I refuse to think.

When I reach his face.

When I press my lips to his.

When he pulls me to him,

When he lifts me up and carries me into the apartment, when he closes the door with me in his arms.

When he puts me down on the sofa in the living room,

When I run my hand through his hair.

When he breaks the kiss and looks at me.

When he stood up and took my hand to follow him through the big flat to the bedroom.

Bedroom with big windows. Overlooking an area of London.

I followed him, no questions asked.

When we reached the bedroom, he closed the door.

We swallow our saliva.

Is this what I want?

Don't think, I tell myself.

Luka takes off his headphones and comes closer to me. The room is white, with dark blue sheets. And huge wardrobes. There are paintings on the wall. One is of the Colosseum in Rome.

Let's leave the details...

Luka comes closer to me. And kisses me, passionately. Our tongues intertwine. We press against each other, we fall on the bed, he's under me. My brain is dazed, I don't know whether from his taste or his smell.

I was hungry for love.

Luka sits us down and we continue kissing, intoxicated by each other. I pull down the top of his shorts. I break the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt over his head. I kiss his cheek, I kiss his neck, I kiss his collarbone, his shoulder. And I stop and look at him. His blurred vision. His heart is beating wildly, I can see it in his chest. I take off my shorts and trousers.