The shrill ring of my phone tore me from the abyss of existential dread that I was going through while staring out of the window. Glancing at the screen, I saw the familiar group call icon making my phone vibrate and each vibration woke me up from my brain fog – a lifeline thrown by my ever-reliable girl gang."Hey losers," I croaked, answering the call and collapsing back onto my bed.Nyra's voice, laced with its usual brand of playful sarcasm, crackled through the speaker. "Shruti, 'losers' is a strong word coming from the girl who probably used a calculator for basic multiplication today."A groan escaped my lips. "Don't even get me started on my father's 'motivational' math torture session it makes me want to cry. I can't believe I'm in grade 9 and that I still can't do basic geometry. The worst part? it's session break, and they've shuffled all our sections! It ended up ruining Kiara's genius plan of sitting next to me and feeding me answers."Kiara, the maths goddess and relationship guru said "Let's face it, Shruti. Even with my expert answers I doubt you would understand the solutions. Plus we all were well aware that a time would come when our sections would be shuffled but we just hung onto the thread of hope that it won't happen so early. But hey forget about it, at least you've got something to look forward to – Rohan's glorious return in..."
I checked my phone dramatically, "... 72 hours!"
The line went silent for a beat, and then Nisha, the reason our chaotic group stayed chaotic 24/7 other than me piped up. "Speaking of Rohan, he just finished his external exams and will be back in three days right?.That means we won't be able to see our crushes for a few days. AH I'll die if I don't see Rayansh" (Nisha crushed on a guy from grade 11 too)"Did you guys manage to catch up lately?" interrupted Nyra. "Things between Rohan and me have been...weird, to say the least. We used to talk all the time, but ever since his external exams started, our conversations have been reduced to the bare minimum on chat. It's like we're strangers now.The other day, out of the blue, he called me 'mommy' in a text. Rohan, so I played along. Except, the next day, it was like a coin flipped. No messages, no replies. Radio silence. For three whole days!"Three days of me overthinking everything. Did I say something wrong? Did he find someone new to talk to while studying? Or worse, did he finally realize I liked him all this time even after that rejection and is now avoiding me as a result?The last option sent a jolt through me. Did I even like Rohan? We were such good friends, but the thought of him being gone for so many weeks had sent a strange pang through my chest. Was it just the weirdness of our communication, or was it something more?Finally, on the fourth day, a message popped up. It was just a simple "Hey," but it felt like a lifeline thrown across a vast ocean of uncertainty. We ended up chatting for a while, catching up on random things, but the whole conversation felt...strained. Like we were both feeling guilty.Ugh, this whole situation was a mess! Maybe the butterflies were just about seeing a familiar face after this weird gap. Or maybe... maybe there was something more to it.My overthinking cut through the chaos in my head. "Okay, okay, let's take a step back. Shruti, are you sure it's still a crush? Or is it just excitement about having a friend back after exams, a special friend who you crushed on a few months ago too? Maybe the butterflies are just about seeing a familiar face? They weren't even butterflies I guess. I mean now when I think about him that strange feeling in my stomach is probably just an anticipation of whether I like him or not. A seed of doubt took root in my mind. Was it a crush? Or was it just the anticipation of having my now usual routine disrupted? The thought of Rohan's easy smile and infectious laughter filling the bus sent a flutter in my stomach, but was it genuine interest, or simply the comfort of familiarity?Before I could voice my confusion, Nyra spoke again, her voice laced with a hint of seriousness. "Look, Shruti," she said, "whatever it is, don't overthink it. Just see how things go when Rohan gets back. And hey, if you realise that you still like him, we're here for you, every step of the way. Even if it involves helping you write embarrassing love letters or decode Rohan's cryptic texts."
Kiara chimed in before I could respond to Nyra's supportive words. "Oh, come on, Shruti. Don't tell me you haven't already started drafting a ten-page love letter in your head, complete with glitter and hearts."
I sputtered, a blush creeping up my neck. "Shut up, Kiara! It's not like that."Nisha, bless her soul, tried to intervene. "Guys, maybe let's not jump to conclusions yet. Look at me, I can feel her at this po-Oh no no no wait, judging by the way u just replied to Kiara I think that- SHRUTI UR WAY MORE OBSSEEDWITH ROHAN THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN WITH RAYANSH"But the damage was done. The dam holding back my jumbled emotions finally burst."Fine!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in mock surrender. "Maybe I do still like him a little! But the guy's an idiot! Calls me 'mommy' one day, then disappears for the next three like a social media ghost! Does he have any idea what kind of existential crisis he put me through? P-Plus that bitch of a boy isn't worth obsessing over. I really think I don't like him anymore"The line erupted with laughter."Whoa, Shruti," Nyra chuckled, "going full yandere there, are we? Next thing you know, you'll be baking him a cake with his hair in it.""Hey! I just said that I MIGHT not like him anymore!" I protested, but a small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. The image of me, slipping a strand of Rohan's hair into a cake was oddly amusing and disgusting at the same time.Kiara, never one to miss an opportunity to poke fun, jumped in. "Remember that time in eighth grade when Rohan accidentally called you 'Shreya' instead of Shruti? You spent the entire week plotting your revenge.The memory flooded back, vivid and hilarious. My cheeks burned as the others howled with laughter."Okay, okay," I admitted, defeated, a snort escaping my lips. "Maybe I have a bit of a dramatic streak when it comes to Rohan."Nyra, cut in. "Look, Shruti," she said, her tone serious, "we're just messing with you. But seriously, don't let this whole overthinking thing cloud your judgment. Talk to Rohan when he gets back. See where things stand. And hey, if it turns out to be a crush, this time you should confess without resorting to giving him treats and then telling everything to Aditi"I couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh at the image of the day I and Aditi had proposed to him together. "Thanks, guys. You always know how to cheer me up, even when I'm being a complete mess."We talked for a while longer, catching up on other random things before the call inevitably devolved into a chaotic debate about the merits of pineapples on pizza (Kiara and Nisha opposed it, while Nyra and I were equally passionate about its deliciousness).Finally, with a promise to meet up for ice cream the next day during lunch break on our first day of grade nine, we ended the call.Lying back on my bed, a strange sense of calm washed over me. Maybe I didn't have all the answers about my feelings for Rohan, but at least I had my friends. They were my anchors, my sounding boards, the ones who would always have my back, no matter how ridiculous my emotional rollercoaster rides got.With a sigh, I closed my eyes, a single thought echoing in my mind – tomorrow was a new day. A new day, new teachers, new classmates and a whole new building after 3 years of happiness in our middle school...
