Carl grimes x reader

dear diary part 5

Dear diary we finally found Sophia not the way we wanted to she was turned one of the people in the group had to shoot her in the head me and Carl were right there when it happened we went home and cried our eyes out I decided for the sake of Sophia to tell Carl about my feelings tomorrow it would make Sophia proud she told me to tell him whatever I was ready she said go get him tiger when she said that it always made me laugh now thinking of that moment makes me cry cuz she wouldn't be there to witness mine and girls first kiss she won't be there to witness when I tell Carl I love him for the first time she won't be able to witness any of it cuz she's dead I can't believe what Carl's feeling right now he's blocking me out she's blocking his dad out he's blocking everyone out is another tragedy going to fall upon us let's hope not you don't want to lose another one we've already lost so many I don't even know how Carol feels right now sometimes I just want to go up and hug her and tell her everything will be fine that her daughter's watching her from the sky but I feel like that would just make her mad or cry even more everyone's upset Shane is trying to run away from its problems everyone is trying to run away from their problems nowadays except for me and Carl we try and stay put together keep a smile on our face but nowadays we can't cuz we lost our saving Grace Sophia was the pride and joy of our group she was the youngest out of all of us only by one month Carl's oldest by 2 months it's not fair that just happened it's not fair that the world went to shit it's not fair that this world has gone freaking crazy it's not fair that the dead are living and eating us they're breaking apart families loved ones are now crying over loss how many people have we lost now I don't even remember cuz no one's really counting because we know we're going to lose another at some point we don't know how gruesome it's going to be Glenn is always trying to make me and Carl laugh and come out of our room just to get something to eat me and Carl say no because if we eat we'll feel like we just want to puke it up we can't get that image out of our brains Sophia in her last moments she look beautiful but scared and confused I can't remember Carol's face when she saw her daughter's brain get shot out her head because her face was filled with so much sadness it was hard for anyone to breathe because we were all crying so much we didn't know what to do bye diary- yn