Stay

Hi, this is a short story called stay. Disclaimer, this could be triggering, also the symptoms Charlie is experiencing may not be 100%accurate given that this was just a speedy thing I wrote down. This story is a bit shit ok? Some of it is on purpose. The tenses switch up loads to convey Charlie's confusion at the world and there may be spelling and grammar errors, purely because I'm a shit typer.
Enjoy xxx

'A blind date?' I asked Molly. The sun was beating into my eyes as I squinted at my friend with skepticism. 'Yeah! Trust me you will love Clara, you two are perfect for each other!' Molly grinned. She had been trying to set us up for weeks, apparently Clara had agreed immediately after she saw the photos of me, but I wasn't too keen on the idea. What if she's actually awful? Or maybe she will hate me? Maybe she's a mad axe murderer... probably not but the possibility is still there. I nodded at Molly and walked towards the bench where we were going to meet and sat. This place is loud. Birds, people, the wind, pushchairs on gravel... the words 'hello' and 'excuse me?' And a hand on my shoulder. 'AH! FUCK!' I jumped as a girl with curly ginger hair stood in front of me looking as if I had just pummelled her cat. 'Sorry' she had a nice voice, it was sweet and calm, laced with confusion but still calm, 'I'm waiting for a date? Are you-'
'Charlie- hi' I jumped up with an extended hand
'Clara' she gave a relieved smile. We stood in an awkward silence, as I stared at her. She had eyes...
Of course she had fucking eyes, dear god.
What I mean is she has that kind of eye, the ones that make you want to just look into them for hours, tracing and memorising every single curve and mountain, every green wave and every fleck of brown. I like her eyes. 'So, ice cream?' She grinned; 'absolutely'- maybe Molly was right...

The date went perfect, we talked about anything and everything, and by the end of the date we had walked around the park six times. So we went on another, and another and another- walking, talking drinking coffee and hot chocolates, baking biscuits and watching films. We laughed through it all. She would play this trick on me where she would tap my shoulder then be on the other side and pretend like nothing happened. So we told Molly it was going well and she nearly shat herself with joy. Ha... I loved that moment- when her eyes lit up and she hugged us both and started blabbering about how we were made for each other.
3 months in clara and I moved in together; and once all the furniture was in place and everything was set... we had our first kiss. 3 months may seem a long time but to us it was perfect; the light of the window bouncing off her eyes and through her hair and she wrapped her arms around me in a hug, the way she clung when she pulled away, the nervous tension that scattered its way through the air, the smell of her hair and her clothes, when she pulled away with that smile she does where it's just the left corner of her lip and half her teeth show. That's my happy place. That moment. When all the noise and lights and fizzing in my head stopped. They weren't too bad back then, but that changed.

The fizzing got louder and it told me stuff I didn't like. It told me people hated me, that they would hurt me, that they would kill the people I love. It was on this particular day that the fizzing was in my ears loud, the voice in my head wanted to chat and the people in my peripherals kept trying to touch me. I flopped down onto the bed where Clara lay with a small smile on her face -'god I hate all this noise'- she looked confused but the smile remained 'what do you mean?'
'All the noise in here and around you know?'
She shook her head and slowly the grin melted away 'it's pretty quiet in here Charlie'
'PFFT! No- there's that dog barking and that bee in the room and mr jones outside talking to who even knows and-'
'Wait- sorry, who's mr jones?' She frowned. She's making fun of you.
'Clara we've lived here for three months and you don't know mister jones? He lives in apartment 12! And can you seriously not hear that dog it's going nuts, you must be going  no deaf', I smiled as I nudged her.
Clara shook her head and sat up with an incredulous look on her face 'is this a joke? Megan lives in number 12, we had her over last week... and there isn't a dog- we can't have pets remember? As for a bee, I don't know what your on about'
She thinks you're crazy.
I huffed with confusion 'next you're going to tell me you can't hear that beeping, we should get your ears tested!'
'No I can hear that... THATS THE SHITTING SMOKE DETECTOR!' She jumped out of bed and scrambled to the kitchen to find the toaster on fire and a damp price of bread on the counter. 'SHIT' we yelled as we beat the fire out and unplugged the toaster; the fire was out and a charred tea towel poked from the top, smouldering as the bread got soggier.
'Charlie, why is there a tea towel in the toaster?' She said sternly.
'I don't know! I spilled my drink mopped it up then made some toast, that was the last time I was in here!' I pleaded as she looked between me, the bread and the toaster. 'Charlie, I don't know what kind of joke this is but you nearly burned down our kitchen.' She hates you. She thinks you're mental.
'It's not a joke! I promise!' I could tell how desperate I sounded, and apparently she believed me, her eyes softened and she just hugged me. 'I'm going to book you an appointment ok? I'm sure this is nothing but just in case...'
'Just in case what? Nothings wrong with me. If anything you should be getting an appointment! That dog is going fucking nuts and we didn't have anyone called Megan over! I'm not crazy! STOP CALLING ME CRAZY.' I snapped as I stormed out the room; I didn't want to get annoyed, I did t even realise what I had said until I was on the bed sobbing into the pillow. She hates you. I would if I was her. I got up off the bed and walked back to the kitchen to find Clara looking at toasters on Amazon with a concerned expression. 'I'm sorry I snapped...' she looked at me and her eyes met mine softly. I searched them and where I expected to find anger or contempt, I found sympathy and worry. 'It's ok love,' she sighed as she wrapped me in a hug, 'I didn't mean to call you crazy'
'You didn't... the guy in my head was just saying you did. It was a misunderstanding' I closed my eyes as the hands crept further into my peripherals. 'Look, love, I don't want to call you crazy but- there is no mr jones... or dog, or bee... and there shouldn't be a guy in your head love. Especially not one that tells you bad things are going to happen. Now I'm going to call the GP, okay? Just to make sure you're all ok. Is that alright love?' Her voice was calm and lilting, so I nodded. There would be proof that there was nothing wrong with me. That I'm normal.