The Jaws of Life

3

I met Alia in the third grade. I was new to school and like every new kid I was so nervous. I remember walking into my first class of the day and looking around at all the new faces and just wanting to hurl right then and there. My only saving grace was that there was an open seat next to this dark-haired girl who looked friendly enough. As soon as I sat down next to her she started talking and she hasn't stopped since then. Our friendship was so natural, we never seemed to need any time apart, being with her was like being with myself.

The first time I went to her place I met her brother, Jaime. He was a couple of grades ahead of us and he was the coolest guy I'd ever seen. He could do tricks on his bike and he knew how to throw a football. He also used to tease Alia so much she'd cry sometimes, or he'd hide the stuff we were using on purpose to make us mad. Even though he was cool, he also sucked.

It was only when I turned 15 that I looked at Jaime one day and he realized it. He was cute. Not just regular cute, either, but slightly bad boy, best friend's brother unshakeable cute. Sure, he used to chase Alia and I with worms when we were younger and I'll always remember that about him, but now we were teens - almost adults even, and there Jaime was, more grown than I'll ever be.

That summer he started working out more, lifting weights in the evening. Alia and I would sit outside in the backyard reading magazines, telling one another what was in style and what wasn't, when Jaime would be outside not too far from us lifting weights. I would hold my magazine up so Alia couldn't see my face and I would look at Jaime. I wondered if he was working out to look good for someone - and often I wondered if that someone was me.

That very same summer Jaime joined a band. He joined it with some other guys from around here, no one I had really seen before until I started going to their shows. The music hurt my ears but watching Jaime play was something else. Alia and I would go together, but she would disappear quickly with whatever guy she was seeing that week, leaving me to watch her brother alone. Not that I minded at all, in fact I preferred it. Some nights I would even hangout with Jaime afterwards since he felt bad I got ditched again by his sister. I thought maybe it was more than that, but he never made a move. To him I was like Alia, just a little sister type who he wanted to make sure was okay.

One night after one of his shows I was approached by some cute guy who had also been watching the show. He came up to me and started talking, being really friendly and everything. The guy was about my age and seemed nice enough, so when he asked for my number I was overjoyed. That is, until Jaime came over telling the guy to get away from me. I thought for sure Jaime was jealous and didn't want to see any guy talk to me, but instead he told me that he heard that guy was trouble and he didn't want me caught up in anything like that.

Any other hopes I had for Jaime and I soon eventually dissolved completely by the next summer. His band that he joined the previous summer fell apart which led to him joining another band, but this time it was successful. The band ended up getting noticed by a label, then eventually signed and next thing I know Jaime was leaving for his first tour. Around the time he left, him and Alia had a falling out which led to us never being around him anymore, therefore putting the final nail in my Jaime dream coffin.

My childish crush on my best friend's brother was finally one I had to put to the side. He was off travelling the world and making music while I was still stuck in school, studying for a degree I wasn't even sure I wanted. Besides, he could never look at me like that and I know it. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to see him again.

Could I really still have a crush on him after all these years? Better yet, would I allow myself to do that to Alia? I guess there's only one way to find out.