𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨/𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞! - 𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞

your body shot up, chills running down your spine. fuck, you had a dream about her again.

you looked to your left and found your sleeping husband. his brown hair peeked through the soft covers. he was dead asleep and didn't notice your...nightmare (can you even call it that? yes, yes you can). you had been married for ten years, ever since you were eighteen. looking back on your marriage, he hadn't been much of a husband. well, from your perspective. sure, the ramshackle court papers stated that he was—in fact—your husband, but you didn't view him as such. even if he viewed you as his loving and loyal wife.

you sighed as you turned your head away from him, too bothered to focus on your husband anymore. it had been the third night that week that this had happened—you being woken up by memories from years ago. her and her curly brown hair and piercing eyes couldn't seem to leave your mind, even under the protection of sleep and all these years (ten to be exact).

your relationship with vinnie wasn't anything serious. honestly, it couldn't have been considered a relationship. it was all purely sexual with no feelings attached whatsoever. in other words, a way to experiment while you were still young. that was it. both of you were nothing (at least, to you your nights spent with her were nothing. but to her, that was a different story).

you didn't actually love her, that would've been obscene.

but with your mind constantly wandering back to how warm her hands were whenever you would cuddle together for warmth during the cold nights in ramshackle. how soft her lips were when you made out or even just how they looked when she talked about her latest scheme. and how great it felt for your naked bodies to be pressed against one another—you started to rethink it.

sexual desire? possibly. but, love? not in a million years. you weren't like that. you aren't like that. well, you hoped.

when you were young, you would always say it was experimenting, trying new things to get over your latest breakup, or just for fun. you didn't want to admit that after a few nights spent with vinnie in the alleyway, you were starting to feel some...not normal feelings for the girl.

you had always dismissed them. mind playing tricks on you, you told yourself. just a phase. and whenever Vinnie asked you about these feelings, trying to understand what you guys were, you shook it off. it wasn't love. it was just a desire.

she was always upset with you when you said that. at least vinnie was open with her feelings, she always was. she wouldn't move away from you whenever stone or skipp would walk into the alleyway after being out. she wouldn't leave you alone without talking for a couple of days and then miraculously show up in the middle of the night. she would never. but you? you would. and you did.

your mind was brought back to the night you had told her about the engagement to your husband (an arrangement made by your parents).

"what?" you recalled vinnie saying, sitting up from the concrete floor. hair messed up and tangled from both of your actions prior (sex).

"i'm getting married, vinnie."

you remember how defeated she looked. how her brown eyes lost that spark you were so accustomed to seeing. she scoffed, and you vividly remembered how she turned away from you, "so why the hell are you here?"

"to see you. tell you about it."

vinnie looked at both of your clothing discarded a few feet away and then looked down at the patchwork blanket your bodies were covered in, you recalled.

"yeah. and to get one last fuck in before you leave and go get married to some lootbag guy."

"don't be like that, vin."

your heart hurt as you remember how she made a cross between a sarcastic laugh and a sob, "i bet you don't even like him. you can't be his wife if you don't like him."

you stayed silent, then said, "i'm sure I can."

"oh, cut the shit. you're telling me that everything we've been doing the past months meant nothing to you?"

"vinnie—"

"nothing so you turn away and marry some guy? you don't even like guys!"

"i do. this was just a phase, and you know that."

you recalled how vinnie's face dimmed by that. it always did. and you hated it.

there was a small silence then. the only sounds that were around you were the busy streets of ramshackle a good amount of feet away from the makeshift bed (a piece of cardboard, some pillows, and the blanket covered in tarps). you remember how you stood and put on your clothing in a hurry.

"i've gotta go."

"so that's it? you come, have sex with me, drop a bomb that 'whoops! i forgot to tell you that i'm getting married in a couple months!', then fucking leave without a word?" she said angrily.

"this is wasn't anything serious! it never was! why are you getting so upset?"

"it was to me."

your mind reminds you how you stood over her, fully clothed. your hair also a mess. with hickeys scattered across your neck. (god, how you hated that you longed for those bruises once again). you just stared at her with a blank expression, not knowing what to say.

she spoke, voice filled with emotion ranging from anger to despair, "you're going to be miserable with him. you have to admit it, you like girls. or else you're going to be unhappy for the rest of your life."

looking back, you regret what you said in that moment of pure vulnerability, "fuck you, vinnie."

and with that, you left.

sitting in the dark (the moonlight being the only real source of light in the room), with your husband sleeping soundly by your side, you began to cry. you put your head in your hands to muffle the noise of sniffles and sobs and everything in between.

ever since your wedding day, you felt like your life was on autopilot. living day to day without any real joy. fuck, you weren't even referred to as an individual person anyone. just the wife to your husband. not a past scrap who lived in ramshackle for her whole life and who had many, many exciting memories. just a wife. nobody even used your real name.

and when you recalled the nights you spent with vinnie, stealing money from lootbags on the street. eating her favorite smoked beans (you didn't like them, but you did it for her...and so you wouldn't die of starvation). laughing with her after a night of drinking and smoking with her two other friends. how beautiful she always looked, even with the fact that she had a small case of rabies (you didn't immediately notice, so it wasn't a big problem).

you finally realize that vinnie was absolutely right.

——also posted on my ao3 account (please follow it)

this is from a three part series of oneshots based on songs with the main cast of ramshackle (vinnie, stone, and skipp)

COIN CLUES:

inspired by the song 'good luck, babe!' by chappell roan

vinnie may actually have rabies based on the comment made by skipp about her rabies shots