The end of Camelot

Chapter 9

The next couple of days go by in a blur. I feel numb and the rest of the family appears to be. Daddy tries to maintain a balance between spending time with us and being with Aunt Jackie, but most of the time, Aunt Jackie wins. No one really blames him though.

Momma and Kathleen stay strong, never crying or showing weakness. Joe helps Momma in being the 'man' of the house, sometimes causing arguments between the boys, mostly David and Michael. Bobby, Courtney and I behave as best we can, but things are hard. It isn't hard to tell that the terribly tragedy that struck our family is the back of everyone's mind; and not even Momma can hide that.

I get used to the new routine after two days, only to have it messed up again. November 25th, John's third birthday. And the day we were putting Uncle Jack in the ground. I hardly sleep the night before the funeral. Every time I close my eyes, I see Uncle Jack and watch them put him in the ground through a clear casket. I lay in my bed until ten thirty and then go to Momma and Daddy's bed. Daddy wasn't asleep either and he lets me sleep in his arms for the night, which I was thankful for.

I try to sleep, but when I finally do, it's a little after one and I hear Momma get up the next morning at six. I hear Daddy take a deep breath and feel his chest expand as it lifts me up a little as I rub my eyes. I then look up to Daddy as he gently strokes my head. "I'm going to get up, kiddo. I need to get in the shower." I nod as Daddy stands up and lays me back in the bed. I look up to him. "Daddy?" Daddy looks over at me. "Yes, baby girl?" I roll over to my stomach. "I love you." Daddy weakly smiles and kisses my forehead. "And I love you, baby. Me or Momma will be ready to help you get ready soon." I nod with a yawn as Daddy walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

I don't attempt to go back to sleep. There was no point. Momma and Daddy would be going back and forth into the bedroom and bathroom, waking up my brothers and sisters and talking. Plus, I would have to get ready soon anyway. I lay in the bed for what feels like forever, staring to get the idea I could sleep for just a little bit. But, just as I close my eyes, I hear the bathroom door open. I open my eyes and see Momma leave the bathroom. Her short, brown hair with hints of blonde was wet and unfixed, sitting just below her ears. The only black dress Momma owned and only wore for certain occasions was on her, the bottom of the dress resting shortly after her knees on her shins.

Momma looks over at me with a soft sigh as she turns on the bedroom light. "Come here, Kerry. Let's go wake up your siblings and I'll bring you back in here to get you changed so you can still be with us. Deal?" I nod, happy she wasn't going to take me everywhere with her. Daddy must've told her to. Momma smiles weakly. "Alright." She walks up to the bed and lifts her hands down to me as I stand up, leaning against her. Momma picks me up and carries me out of the room as I sit on her hip, laying my head on her shoulder.

Momma walks into Kathleen and Courtney's room, then Joe's and lastly David and Michael's. She walks into they boys room and turns on the light. David groans as he slides his head under the pillow and Michael pulls the blankets over his head. "Come on guys," Momma says seriously, yet softly. "I need you two to get up. We have to get ready and go quickly. Please Michael, no games today." Michael lifts his head up from under the blankets and nods. "Yes ma'am, Momma." David gets out of bed. "Don't worry Mummy, I'll help him get dressed." Momma smiles softly. "Thank you, David." She then turns around and leaves, carrying me to my room.

"Okay Kerry," Momma says as she stands me on the bed. "Kathleen is wearing her black dress and Courtney is wearing her dark blue dress. I'll put you in your dress to match Courtney." I nod as Momma grabs my plain dark blue dress with the white collar and my white lace headdress and my black shoes, then looks to me. "Come on Ker, you're going to have to walk, I can't carry you." I nod as I slide to the floor. "That's okay, Momma." I walk up to her other side and grab her free hand, following her to her bedroom.

Daddy sighs as he stands in front of the full length mirror as he pulls his black jacket on over his white shirt with a sniffle. The day hadn't even truly begun yet and Daddy was already crying. I could tell it was going to be a hard day. Momma gently kisses his cheek and leads me over to her bed, laying my dress down on it. She then picks me up, sits me beside the dress and begins to take off my pajamas, replacing them with the dress. Momma then brushes out my hair until it was perfectly straight and finishes it by tying a bow to the side, pinning some hair out of my face. She then puts the headdress over my hair and slips on my black shoes. "Okay honey, you're ready." I smile softly and hug her. "Thank you, Momma."

Momma kisses my forehead as she lets me go and stands up as Courtney walks into the room, looking exactly like I did. She very weakly smiles as Momma nods. "You look very nice, Courtney." Courtney nods and looks at me before hurrying to me and sitting beside me. Daddy grabs his black tie and drapes it around his neck. He takes each end in his hands and before he starts to tie it, looks down at the floor and begins to cry. Courtney wraps her arm around me as Momma goes up to Daddy, beginning to tie his tie for him.

Daddy looks up to Momma with tears in his eyes as she works with the tie. "She wants to walk, Ethel." Momma looks up to Daddy as she finishes his tie. "What?" she asks softly. Daddy swallows. "Jackie wants to walk behind Jack's casket on the way to the church. She deserves to have what she wants after what she's been through, so Ted, Sarge, Stephen, Peter and I are all going to walk with her. I think Eunice, Pat and Jean are going to ride in a car with the kids. Eunice told me there would be room for you and the kids."

Momma nods. "Okay, Bob. We'll ride with them. You guys walk with Jackie. Today, she's going to need as much help and support as she can get. Be there for her." I swallow hard and lean against Courtney as she holds me tighter. Suddenly, I was more nervous about the day than I had been. I wasn't ready for it. Why did this even have to happen in the first place?