The end of Camelot

Chapter 12

The evening goes by quickly and shortly after dinner, followed by a short conversation in the living room, it's time for bed. Momma had taken me and Michael up for a bath after dinner and put me in my fresh pajamas, I felt like I might be able to get a little bit of sleep. Maybe.

I made my rounds and told everyone goodnight and I loved them. Daddy then carried me upstairs with Momma walking in front of him and Aunt Jackie behind him. "Alright Ker," Daddy says as he makes it to the top of the stairs. "You sleep good tonight. Don't be so worried about everything else, okay?" I nod slowly as I look to him as he begins to walk to my room. "Okay, Daddy. I'll try." Momma gently puts her hand on mine. "And if you need anything, Daddy and I are just down the hall." "And," Aunt Jackie says. "I'm right across from your room if you need me too." I smile brightly and nod. "Thank you, Aunt Jackie."

Daddy plops me on the bed and pulls the covers up over me as I laugh. Daddy, Momma and Aunt Jackie all kiss my forehead. "Goodnight, baby girl," Momma says. "We love you so very much." Daddy grins. "Sleep really tight and cozy!" Aunt Jackie laughs softly. "We'll see you in the morning, sweetheart. Don't forget to say your prayers." I nod with a soft smile. "Okay." As they begin to leave, I shake my head. "Wait. Can we pray together?" Momma and Daddy look at each other with a smile as Aunt Jackie looks to me and nods with a smile. "Of course, honey."

Aunt Jackie, Daddy and Momma walk back over to my bed, kneeling at it and clasping their hands as Daddy leads us in the child's prayer. After we share our final goodnights, they leave, closing the door behind them and leaving me in my room all alone. I look slowly around the room, clutching my teddy bear tightly. I had never really been afraid of the dark. There was the short period of time that I was scared of what was in the dark after Bobby told me a scary story, but Kathleen slept with me in my room until I got over it. This time, was different. I wasn't afraid of the dark, I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of Aunt Jackie being alone. I didn't feel safe. I feel like at any minute, someone could come inside and get any one of us. Then what would happen to us?

I whine and quickly throw my blankets off of my body as I slide out of my bed and run to my door, quickly opening it. I look down the long hallway to my left. Momma and Daddy's bedroom light glows under the door. I then look a few doors closer to me to where Kathleen and Courtney's room is. Their light is off, but I can faintly hear Kathleen's voice and Caroline's laugh. I then turn my head to the right where Joe's room is. The door was wide open and the light was on. Bobby stood on the bed with a pillow as Michael threw one at his stomach and Bobby collapsed on the bed with a laugh.

I then look directly across the hall to Aunt Jackie's room. Her door is closed and there is no glow from light on the inside. My heart races a little and I get very nervous. Had something just happened to Aunt Jackie? I slowly creep across the hall, pressing my ear to the door as I listen closely. I hear soft talking and I get a little more nervous. Who was she talking to?

I ever so gently turn the doorknob and stick my head in the door. Aunt Jackie is on her knees at her bed, her back to me and her rosary in her hands. Aunt Jackie nods with a sigh as she laces her fingers around the rosary, holding the cross and playing with the beads with her other hand. "And I know," Aunt Jackie tells the rosary. "That you're in a better place now, I really do. But..." She looks down and stops talking for a little bit. "I'm jealous of you, and I'm selfish because... I want you here with me." I quickly put my hand to my mouth with a soft gasp as tears come to my eyes. She was talking to Uncle Jack.

Aunt Jackie shakes her head. "There's so many things that you're missing and I miss doing things with you. I miss feeling you crawl into bed with me after you finished work. I miss hearing your laugh when you played with the kids." She gently lays her cheek against the bed and I see a small smile form across her face. "You would be so proud of them, Jack. They haven't really cried. But, Kennedy's don't cry, right?" She shrugs a little. "I wish you could see them. Or, maybe you can, I like to believe that you can. It makes things a little easier."