They Called Me A Sinner

Relapsing Through Time

I woke up sweating and shaking. My stringy hair sticking to my neck and face. I have been haunted by the struggles of withdrawal for two days now and already I want my poison back. I'm surprised I even made it this long. I reached a shaky hand toward the cigarette box and lifted it towards me only to find it disappointingly empty. I flung it across my room and screamed in frustration. I shook harder and pulled at my hair, tucking my knees to my chest and rocking back and forth. I started to spout incoherent words that didn't sound like anything.

"Lilac?" I heard banging on my front door.

"They keep calling my name!" I yelled at the mysterious voice behind my front door.

"What? Lilac its me, Silas!" I got up weakly onto my stick legs and stumbled my way to the front door. Once I got there I opened the door slowly smiling.

"Jesus fucking Christ. What the hell happened to you? You look worse than a crack head." He complained as he stepped through the doorway, closing the door behind him. I don't respond just glare as him darkly.

"Fuck you. Do you have my salvation?" I whispered walking around him patting his pockets.

"No. Johnson told me that you quit your job so I assumed that maybe you're trying to change."

"Fuck that. I want my drugs, my parties, and my sex now. I'm over this withdrawal and trying to fix my life bullshit. Give me what I want. Which is my delicious Baggie of pills." I told him hitting him on his chest.

"No no no. You're not giving up. I've waited for you to stop using drug and calm down and its finally happening."

"No. Shut the fuck up and die. Give me my drugs!" I jumped onto him and attempted to tackle him but failing pathetically.

"Listen you little bitch. You are going to sit in your room and stay there." He ordered as he walked to my room me hanging over his shoulder. I watched as his denim wrapped hips ass swayed nicely back and forth.

"Fuck you!" I started to fight back hitting anything I could. I know what I want. I want my drugs back. I screamed and yelled at him. Quickly I ran out of energy. I just shook and cried over his shoulder.

"Lil. Look at me." He begged sitting me down on my bed. As an answer I stuck up my middle finger and glared at him.

"Lilac Marie Kidd. Look at me." Silas and his fatherly voice. Even though he was only 3 years older then me he still had that demanding voice you somehow gain over the years. I never got it though. I've always stayed weak, like now. I looked up with him tears still running down my face, mixing with sweat.

"He... Help... Help... M... Me... Me." Stuttering I made my way closer to him on the bed. He was sitting on the bed next to me, close but not close enough. I crawled into his lap and snuggled my face into his shirt. Immediately he wrapped his strong tattooed arms around me and kissed my matted hair. He smelled like the ocean and cigarettes, I inhaled it, loving the smell. We probably stayed there for hours, rocking back and forth, him sending soothing words, my tears eventually drying on my face, until we both fell asleep.

3:30PM, HOME, TUESDAY:

I once again I woke up screaming and clawing the air. The only difference was this time Silas was there to soothe me.

"I can't... I can't... I'm not... St... Strong enough." I mumbled looking at him.

"Why did you you do it?"

"I wanted to be with you. I want to be with you. I thought that if I stopped then I could be with you."

"Lil. If you still want us to happen you need to pull yourself out of this. And when you do. Then we can talk about us happening." He stood up looking at me. Leaning over he gave my a soft kiss on my forehead the stood up straight and walked out my door. I knew what I need to do get rid of this pain quickly.

I ran into my living room and pushed everything that was in the middle of it to one side of the room making enough space to lay down fully, my arms stretched out like a starfish. I got up and looked around the house for my half empty bucket of red paint.

"Fuck where are you?" I yelled looking through all of my cabinets. Finally I spotted it into the corner of my living room tucked under trash and clothes. Grabbing the can I dragged it to the middle of the room and dipped my hand into the paint. Quickly I painted the one thing I knew could help me on the fake wooden floor, a summoning circle made to call upon Satan. (A/N betcha you weren't expecting that crazy shit huh?)
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Sorry I know this chapter is really short but I need to do some research on summoning Satan before I can continue. (^_^;) my mom will probably lose her shit in the process by thinking I'm a devil worshiper but I'll be okay. Ha. Ha Ha. ~_~; anyways. I know this story took a slightly disturbing turn but I hope you continue reading it cuz I have a feeling it's gonna end up being okay in the end! Byiieee!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

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cuz i don't have a life...(￣◇￣;)