Trading Hearts: STRAND SERIES #2

SIMULA

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Who's The Blacksheep?
HER POV

Villains were good before they became bad. They endured a lot of pain that no one could heal. That's why no one should be blamed except for the reasons behind their transformation. No one has the right to question them.

I am Hilla Villaroel, a rebellious daughter of parents who have never been affectionate.

Brazen, parasite, no shame, worthless.

My ears were exhausted from hearing those words from my own family, repeatedly. They said I did nothing but embarrass them. Like I care, right? Considering that they are one of the most prominent businessmen in our country, the pressure to live up to their expectations was suffocating. Of course, they cared because of the business. Their reputation was everything, and any slip-up from me was seen as a threat to their image. It felt like no matter what I did, I could never be good enough for them. Every mistake was magnified, every misstep criticized.

Nothing's new!

"Hilla, kailan ka ba matututo? Ginawa na namin ang lahat ng makakaya namin. Binigay namin sa'yo lahat at halos wala na ngang matira para sa kapatid mo pero ano 'tong ginagawa mo? Nasa'yo na lahat ng atensyon, pagmamahal, at suporta na tulad ng gusto mo pero ano na naman 'to, ha? Bagsak ka dahil lang sa pagtakas mo sa klase para lang makipagkita sa nobyo mo? Aba kebata-bata mo pa! Disi-otso ka pa lang," malakas na sermon ni Papa.

"You know what? You're overreacting. Ang boring lang ng subject tsaka hindi naman big deal 'yon. Let's just buy my grade marami naman tayong pera 'di ba kung 'yong imahe nyo ang inaalala n'yo?" sagot ko.

I'm not dumb, I'm just rebelling and fulfilling the life I've never had. I don't know why they are furious. Grades lang naman 'yon at pwedeng bawiin. At isa pa, saan naman nila nakuha ang balitang 'yon? I don't have a boyfriend, tsaka wala namang gwapo roon para ganahan ako. Kaya lang naman ako tumatakas dahil kailangan kong magpa-check-up dahil kung hindi ay baka hindi ko mamalayang tegi na pala ako.

The doctor said that I have stage 4 cancer. I don't even know if what he's saying is true. I just felt a simple headache, but their findings are so severe. Cancer agad? Hindi ba pwedeng migraine lang?

And yet, here I am, feeling stronger than those who are supposedly healthy. The doctor labeled my case as asymptomatic-no symptoms, no warnings kaya wala akong maramdaman at hindi ko rin sineseryoso. And my family remains blissfully unaware. Perhaps it's better that way because even for once, I'll never let them know. Mamamatay akong hindi nila nalalaman, and if that happens, I want them to realize how irresponsible they are-that they robbed me of what was supposed to be my life, my youth-that they didn't act like parents to me.

"Hindi lahat ng bagay ay pwedeng gamitan ng pera, Ija. The persistence to learn and pass it is priceless. Hindi naman kami nagkulang sa pag-papaalala sa'yo diba?" mahinahon naman na sabi ni Mama pero naiinis pa rin ako. Palibhasa wala sila sa sitwasyon ko. Kapag nagsasalita sila ay para talaga silang isa sa uliraning magulang. Fuck them!

"Your foolishness is affecting our business. Ikaw na naman ang laman ng tabloids. Do you know how exhausting it is to clean up your mess just for you to look good?" bulyaw ni Papa dahil sa postura kong nakapikit na tila natutulog sa sofa habang naka-sandal dahilan ng pagka-dilat ko.

"Look who's talking," pabulong ko pero mukhang narinig.

Siguro ganoon nga talaga katigas ang ulo ko kasi halos araw-araw, pagkagaling ko ng school ay bulyaw dito, bulyaw doon ang nangyayari. Nakakaligtas lang ako tuwing nasa ibang bansa o kaya busy sila dahil sa business.