Chapter 22
Part 1
Fantasia POV
f*** s*** okay okay im done I said tapping Sarah slightly on top of her head to try and get her to stop trying to please me she was gone overboard and my mind was elsewhere we were going nowhere fast. She Fantasia what the f*** this is like the third time you stopped me what's really going on where you at right now could you damn sure not here with me? You thinking about her aren't you Sarah said. Thinking about who baby. Sarah don't play dumb with Me Fantasia you know who I'm f****** talking about your ex you thinking about her cuz it seems like ever since she left here your energy is been off. I mean you said you choose me but did you really choose me in your heart or is that just some s*** you said at the time . Huh huh tell me did you tell me yes at the time because it seemed like the right thing to do. Look baby I love you and I want you but I don't want to feel like I'm holding you hostage it's clear to me that you don't love me the way you love her.
No baby it's not like that I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood you know every marriage has its dry spells just haven't been in the mood lately because when my therapist says is that I need more time to heal and scene Taraji brought up a lot of old memories some good but more mostly bad memories because let's face it I saw her lying dead in a more 8 months go by and then. I know baby I'm sorry I didn't even think about it that way she calls you a lot of trauma and it was traumatic seeing her again after all this time I'm sorry I'll try to be more understanding I guess I just a little insecure because our marriage is still so fresh and you guys have so much history together. Just tell me this Tasia promise me I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and you and Purity are gone can you at least tell me truly can you at least tell me that you falling out of love with me don't leave me the question myself I'm sorry I'm just going to go ahead and get out of here. Sarah wait baby no don't go can you hold me just come here I don't want you to go and don't leave like this I would never leave you. I need you I love you and I want you. You are my world you are my wife and we're raising the baby together you're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time I'd be a fool to let you go. Only thing standing in our way is me I just need some counseling and a little time baby I whispered the last sentence. Sarah nod Serenade and climb back into bed with me instantly turning me into the little spoon I took in a deep breath and exhaled . soon she fell asleep and I was left alone again with my thoughts. I wonder what Taraji was doing right now it was it was 6:00 a.m. on a Sunday.
Taraji POV I needed to do some soul searching without giving too much information I had Jason call my mama I was going home I don't know for how long I just needed my mama right now. It had been 30 years since I came back here to my hometown 30 years hadn't stepped back in this place. But I still knew this place like the back of my hand a lot of things have changed a lot of new buildings were being built stores on blocks or different the city felt different but when I got on the street where my mother's house was everything was the same it's like I had stepped in a time capsule. My heart begin to pound out of my chest thinking about the night I left here with Jason in my arms crying scared but determined. I was broken when Jason's father died I never truly talked about it ever again Jason knew this was a sore spot for me so he would never try to bring it up but every once in awhile he would ask me good questions about his father about the things he like to do the food he like to eat the places we would go it was also heartbreaking watching Jason grow up without his father. Truth is ever since he got older he's starting to look more like him everyday. Hey Mama she was standing on her porch awaiting my arrival the driver help me with my bags and walk me to my mom Mother's porch my mama there stood With Tears In Her Eyes with her arms stretched out toward me. She said my baby Lord lord lord lord God you brought my baby back to me thank you Jesus I hope and kissed her she helped me tight as if she would never see me ever again I started to feel guilty I sent for her to come to LA with me she was always afraid to fly my mama was old school. And let's just say I haven't been very good of a daughter I mean sure I sent money back home but mama was never leaving this place she wasn't leaving the home that she knew since she was a girl. My mother was raised here once her mother passed the house was passed down to her this is the only place she ever knew and when she married my father she refused to move and let her mama's house go so here's where she stayed and I was brought up here I remember stomping these blocks I remember playing with the neighbor kids before everybody went off to college this was a good place a wonderful place to raise your children I wonder for a moment what it would be like raising Purity out here. Oh my God then I realize my mama doesn't even know I had a I have another child. she's a grandma again twice. I said there's silently debating on whether or not I should tell her about purity now or later. We made our way back into the house and as soon as I came in the smell of home cook food hit my nose I welcome the aroma and got comfortable on the sofa as I watched my mama. She was in her age for sure but she still got around good that's amazing how you can watch your parents grow with you I remember being a teenager or a child running up and down these blocks my mother and grandmother calling me over to bring the groceries in the house her fighting a neighborhood cuz he's over my no good cheating Daddy LOL some things I'll never forget like the nights she and daddy will go out to the club the whole house smell good like her perfume mama always told me a woman has to have her a signature scent and hers was Windsong.
