i'm writing at 4am bc i can't sleep and i'm hurt :((
my ex boyfriend got a new girlfriend, and i am starting to realize that i was just his stepping stone to someone better for him. i'm kinda uhhh mentally ill and i'm mad that i am not his #1 even though IM the one who left.
i think what makes me mad though is that i didn't leave him because i didn't like him, i left him because of how hard it was to take care of him and how he wasn't growing up and doing anything for himself. after i left, he suddenly got his shit together! but by then i've been on a venture to stay single and not rely on others. now, he has a girlfriend that doesn't need to take care of him, and just gets the good parts. the parts i wanted to have with him, but were put aside for my feeling that i had to take care of him.
i saw them at the lake today it was sooooo cool hahaha so cool
anyways i texted him how i felt and i've blocked him. i can't sleep over this (if it isn't the consequences of my own actions yall!!!)
TLDR: i am upset at others and myself for the consequences of my own actions. left boyfriend for not growing up and doing nothing, now he has his shit together and found a girl who will never have to deal with what i dealt with.
why am i like this :((( i thought i was over everything
