Hearts Like Ours

P R O L O G U E

I have always known that I am only meant for temporary things. 

I am not one to stay, nor someone anyone would want to stay with. Rather, I am the person you'd only be with to kill some time or distract yourself for a while—nothing more. In my world, staying is never a thing. People come and go after all, don't they?

But I'd lie if I said that a part of me never wondered that maybe... maybe I was wrong. 

It's past four am already and I should be getting some sleep instead of staring at the ceiling, but I couldn't even last a minute with my eyes closed. I feel sore and tired yet my brain remains active and going haywire. Meanwhile, the person lying beside me is peacefully hibernating like a baby.

I faced him and paused when I noticed a little scar on the side of his forehead I'd never seen before. Of all the time we've been together, this is the first time that I've seen his face up close. I can see the texture of his skin, the stubbles on his chin, and the little mole on the left side of his lips that I always stare at when he talks. I fought the urge to move away some of his hair covering his scar, afraid that I may wake him up or that doing so may cross a line. Instead, I just took my time to look at his face, memorizing it as if it would be the last time I'd see them. 

And I'm afraid that it might be. 

"You didn't mean what you said, right?" I whispered as quietly as I could. Knowing that he's in deep sleep, I doubt he would hear it. I mean, he doesn't have to. I just felt the need to say it. Because I know for sure that once we we get up from this bed, it will seem as though nothing happened. We'll never talk about it, as we should. 

Funny, it's not like it's I've heard those words for the first time; in fact, every boy I have been with has said the same thing. Same words. Same tones. Hearing it thousands of times, it doesn't mean shit anymore. That's why I say it back. All the time. 

But why didn't I when he said it?

And why am I making a big deal out of this? For fuck's sake, it's not like we're a thing or whatever. Hell, I don't think we're even friends. We're just two people who know each other and kiss and touch each other casually. Yeah, that's what we are. Casual. 

Maybe it was just the liquor we drank or the pot we smoked—or maybe it was the fact that it was the first time his lips had spoken those words. Maybe he was just caught up in the moment and maybe it just took me by surprise. Right. That's it. I shouldn't think about it too much.

After all, hearts like ours... they are not made for something so certain.

Something we both agree about.