Old feelings

03

Jirou

I don't know what came into me to suggest something like that, but I was desperate for him.. for what was about to happen. I was full blown red in the face, but I felt empowered. I was walking towards my house, which was not far, and I felt the burning looks of Denki behind me.

- Taking my measures, Denki? - I asked playfully.

- Sure as hell I am. - I looked over my shoulder and damn right was he taking my measures: semi-closed eyes with a bold smirk on his face. Like he was about to get what he always wanted. - You know Kyouka, it's not everyday you get to fuck your crush from high school. - he said.

- In my case, yup, right that. - I laughed and he stayed quiet.

- In mine too.. - he said serious. I lost all my words somewhere inside me.

- Wait.. - I paused. - You liked me too? - I turned over to him.

- Like you said.. it was more than that. - I was flabbergasted.. shocked even. I locked eyes with him and I swear I saw the goofy smile from 10 years ago. My heart stopped and I almost fell to my knees.

- Why didn't you say anything back then Kaminari? - I was kinda pissed at him.. he could've said somehing.

- I could ask you the same thing Kyouka, you know? - he said. Ok, he was right. The feelings of 17 year old Kyouka were starting the reappear.. and not just the hot feelings.

- Ok, but still.. you could've given me some type of hint.. I don't know! - I was confused and definitely didin't know what I was saying.

- The smiles and the flirting were not enough? I was always trying to impress you and I was always attached to you, every fucking single second of the day Kyouka! - I felt the nervousness and the madness in Denki's voice as he goes on the rampage of words. - I loved you more than anything I had back then, I loved you so much that I was constantly at a loss for words, I loved you so much back then Kyouka, you had no idea.. and even now, I don't know if what I'm feeling is attraction or full blow love. - he was almost yelling at me as we were stopped in the middle of the road just listening to one another.

I was so shocked I didn't even move from my place. My jaw dropped at his words and half of me felt like crying for all the time we spent apart.. 10 years to be exact. His yellow eyes were locked on mine and my eyes were locked in his. I was sure I was falling in love again with this man, despite me saying I wouldn't.. but how can I? He just confessed all his supressed feelings of 10 years to me with the biggest fuck face I've ever seen.. and I was lying if I said I did not like that face. Our breaths were loud.. the silence was loud.

- Sorry Kyouka, I should've not said all of this. This is dumb. - he said.

- Don't ever say that your feelings are dumb Kaminari Denki. Never again. - I said pissed off. I was pissed more at myself for never understanding all his feelings in high school. Now that I recall, he never even tried to hide that he liked me.. I guess I was just fucking dumb to understand. On the other hand, I hid it from almost everyone: Ashido was just too smart when it came to this kind of subject.

- What? It's not like it matters anymore, you said it very clearly that you don't feel a thing towards me and I believe what we are about to do is simply a one night stand and then we go back to never seeing each other again. - he said smilling with a hint of sadness and still.. madness. - Yes, I did miss you for 10 years but I believe the same does not apply to you. - he said.

- Who said that? Who said I didn't miss you in the last 10 years? Who said I was happy while you were gone to lord knows where? - I closed my fists so hard I swear I was hurting myself. - Who said I... - I paused and thought hard about what I was about to say.