A Song of Roses

CHAPTER VI

The first day of my honeymoon was... quiet.

I woke up alone after a night of restless sleep. I had breakfast alone; the palace felt empty and hollow without the presence of the prince. I eventually asked a guard where the prince was, hoping to see him and get a sense of his current mood, but the guard told me that the prince often spent his time away from the palace. "Doing what exactly?" I asked, curious as to why the prince would spend his time away from the palace. The guard appeared to be flustered by my inquiry, and he gave a vague response instead. "I am afraid I do not know, your grace," he apologised respectfully, his tone of voice betraying his uneasiness. avoiding my eyes. I looked at him for a moment, considering his answer. I could not help but feel a sense of annoyance at his response, but I understood that the guard could only relay information that he knew. I nodded in acceptance before he bowed his head in return, ending the conversation. I decided to have a small walk around the garden, thinking that the fresh air and sunshine would lift my spirits after a quiet and lonely morning. A few ladies-in-waiting were following behind me, which felt odd considering that Alina had always been the only one I trusted in my entourage. Every time I turned, they would curtsy silently, their eyes always following my movements. They always kept a certain distance from me, as if they were afraid to get too close. Perhaps this was just a part of their culture, and there was nothing sinister behind their solemn demeanor. I brushed the thought away, deciding to focus on the fresh air and the beauty of the garden. I moved closer to the bushes, enjoying the smell of the different floral scents.

A sudden thought occurred to me that perhaps he was spending his days in brothels. A possibility, I supposed.

I took a deep breath, exhaling softly as I traced the outline of my ring with my thumb, trying to push the thought away. I don't love him anyway; I needed to keep reminding myself of that. I need to keep reminding myself that this was not an actual marriage but rather a political manoeuvre designed to create an alliance between our two nations.

As I continued walking, I heard the sound of horse steps in the distance. I stopped and looked up, hoping to identify the source of the noise and wanting a distraction from my thoughts.A carriage was approaching, and the sound of rumbling wheels and clopping hooves became louder with each passing moment. I stepped back and waited patiently to see who would emerge from the carriage. As one of the footmen in the back of the carriage got down to open the door, Alina came into view, her beautiful blue dress and olive-toned skin shimmering in the sun as she stepped down from the carriage. Her beauty was undeniable, and I could not help but admire her. "Alina.." I muttered her name as I approached her. I lifted my dress just enough to avoid tripping over the fabric. I felt a sense of relief wash over me as she took one look at me and seemed to understand the state I was in. She quickly came over to me and gave me a hug. The affection and warmth of her touch soothed my nervous energy. "Oh Princess," Alina exclaimed, her voice filled with concern as she hugged me tighter. "You came," I muttered, finally being able to release the breath I had been holding onto. "How could I not?" She chuckled back, her smile calming me even further. She remained holding both of my hands, her smile slowly turning into a concerned look. "How are you doing?" She inquired, her voice soft and earnest as she awaited my response. I remained silent, not knowing what to say in response. I felt a vague sense of uncertainty building up inside of me as I noticed her concerned expression. "Come," I whispered as I led her back to the palace. I wanted to go somewhere quieter, where we could speak without any guards or ladies-in-waiting listening in.

As I led her to my chamber, I felt a rush of emotions wash over me. A wave of relief washed over me at the thought of being able to have a private discussion with her. I felt my shoulders relax as I sat down on the bed, inviting her to join me. "So? How was the wedding night?" She asked, making me smile despite my feelings of disappointment. The irony of her question was not lost on me. "It was..." I trailed off, my eyes avoiding her gaze, as I suddenly felt embarrassed to admit how the night had gone. "It was painful, wasn't it?" She giggled, thinking that we actually bedded, when the truth could not have been further from the truth. I felt my face burn with embarrassment as I realised that she had mistaken my silence for something entirely different. "Don't worry, the pain lasts with time," she giggled again, believing that I was in pain from our intimate encounters during the wedding night. "Princess?" She inquired with concern, seeming puzzled by my silence. "We hadn't," I admitted softly, finally breaking the silence. "You didn't consummate the marriage?" She asked, shocked, as reality suddenly dawned on her. Her face fell and her eyes widened with disbelief, now understanding that we had not shared an intimate encounter during our wedding night. "But Princess," she began, only to be interrupted by me. "I was afraid, Alina!" I blurted out, my words filled with a sudden urge to explain myself. To my surprise, she did not speak in response or ask me any questions. Instead, she came over and embraced me, her body tightly wrapped around mine as she held me close. "I was afraid," I whispered, now finding the courage to admit what had been haunting me. "Of everything," I added softly, finding peace in my vulnerability as she embraced me. She let go, releasing her tightness around my body as she pulled away to face me. Her kind and understanding eyes met mine. "I understand your fear, princess," she said softly, her voice filled with compassion and kindness. "Your fear is understandable." Her words were laced with empathy and a deep understanding of my feelings. "I feel alone," I admitted softly, feeling my eyes fill with tears as the emotions I had been holding back started to pour out of me. "I miss Sophia, mother, and father," I added, my voice catching in my throat as I tried to speak without breaking down in front of her. Alina's hands were soft and firm, comforting as they held both of mine. I looked up at her, seeing the tenderness and worry in her eyes as she spoke. "Look at me, Princess," she said softly. "You're not alone. You have me," she continued, continuing to hold my hands tightly. "You have me," she repeated, her voice gentle and encouraging. "You're not alone in this."