Lost and damned

Chapter 3 : Faith

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela's quote about failure at his inauguration as President of South Africa on May 10, 1994.

I woke up in the morning to my alarm at 7 a.m. It was the last day of the week before the weekend break. I drank my coffee, grabbed my wallet, and headed out to school. On my way to high school, I heard someone shouting my name, "Jaaason!" I turned around to see it was none other than Michael Daniel. He's been a childhood friend of mine. You could say his life mirrors mine, as he's also addicted to sweets, if you catch my drift... The boy whose father abandoned him at the age of four, and his mother is not interested in him, often staying out until midnight and returning home drunk, "Hey, Jason, how are you, my friend? I haven't seen you in a long time. Me and the guys have been worried about you," he said to me. "Between school and work, I hardly find time to breathe anymore," I replied. "So, today is the last day of the week. What do you think about going out with the guys somewhere to hang out? You know, grab some sweets and drinks," he chuckled , "In fact, Michael... I think it's time to let go of these trivialities from now on, no more drugs or anything of the sort," I surprised him with my words. "Wow, you've changed overnight! Well, if that's what you want," he said, taken aback. I forgot to mention that Michael dropped out of school in our first year of high school. What's his source of income? Selling drugs, smoking, and theft. And that's...، "I'll head over there to meet some people. See you later, Jason," Michael said.

"If you need anything, Michael, you have my number. Don't hesitate to ask," I told him.

He chuckled and replied, "I'm the one who should be saying that, buddy. Hahaha."

And with that, our paths diverged.

I arrived at school and sat in my usual spot. It was annoying to hear the screams of those troublemakers in the early morning, but who am I to complain, right?

I felt someone touching my back and turned around to find Saiko. Saiko is a nice girl, just like Michael. Both of them are childhood friends of mine, but unlike Michael, she's not an addict. She excels in school and is popular among the students, loved by everyone. She has blue hair and eyes as blue as the sky،"Hello, Jason, how are you?" she said, smiling as usual. "I'm fine, how about you?" I replied. "Great," she said, her face turning from smiling to serious. "Hey, Jason, what's wrong? Your quarterly grades have become disastrous, and you've been picking fights a lot lately. What's the problem? This isn't like you at all. You won't be able to succeed in the baccalaureate exam, and you'll be expelled," she said, genuinely concerned، "You know you can ask for my help if you need it, right?" she continued، "Don't worry, Sai. I just don't have much time to focus on exams, you know, with work and everything... But I won't hesitate to ask for your help if I face difficulties in studying in the future," I said, smiling"Okay then," she replied.

"Well, have you been in touch with Michael and the others during these days?" she asked.

"Yeah, I met Michael this morning. He seemed energetic as usual. As for the others, it's been a long time since we last communicated," I answered."Alright then," she looked concerned.

The bell for the start of the class rang. "Okay, see you later then, Jason. Don't forget what I told you, okay?"

"Yeah, see you later, Saiko," I replied.

After the school day ended, I headed straight to Room 14 to meet with Ms. Melissa. Upon entering the room, I found that she had already arrived. She was sitting, engrossed in reading Friedrich Nietzsche's "Thus Spoke Zarathustra."، "Are you a fan of Nietzsche's books?" I asked her.

"I'm a fan of any book," she replied،"I didn't know you were a book lover, Jason," she said, especially Nietzsche's. I replied, "When I was in the depths of hell, I lost my faith in God, myself. Nietzsche's soul, like mine, thought that God was dead, and we were the ones who killed him."

Ms.Melissa: "Jason, I understand your perspective, but have you ever considered that our inability to comprehend God's existence doesn't necessarily mean He doesn't exist? It's like trying to explain color to someone who was born blind. Just because they can't perceive it, doesn't negate its existence."

Jason: "I hear what you're saying, ms.Melissa, but for me, the absence of evidence is evidence of absence. If God truly exists, wouldn't there be clearer signs? The world is filled with suffering and injustice. It's hard to reconcile that with the notion of a benevolent and all-powerful deity."

Melissa: "But perhaps our understanding of God is limited by our human perspective. We're like ants trying to understand the concept of a skyscraper. Our limited perception doesn't invalidate the existence of something greater."

Jason: "I see your point,  but I struggle to find solace in the idea of a higher power when I see so much pain and suffering around us. If God is truly benevolent, why does He allow such atrocities to occur?"

Melissa: "Perhaps it's not about understanding why suffering exists, but rather finding strength and purpose in spite of it. Faith isn't about having all the answers; it's about finding hope and meaning in the face of uncertainty."

Jason:  I'm not sure I'm ready to embrace it just yet. For now, I'll continue searching for my own truth, even if it means questioning the existence of God."

"You're very intelligent, Jason. I know you'll eventually find the truth," she said, smiling. "So, how was your day? Did you make any progress?"

"It was just an ordinary day, the usual routine," I replied.

"I managed to resist my cravings yesterday; I didn't smoke or take drugs. I think that's something," I said, somewhat proud.

"Really?!" she exclaimed, clearly pleased. "Of course, that's something! I'm so proud of you!" It was the first time someone had shown pride in me, and it felt wonderful. We continued exchanging words for about an hour before parting ways and heading home. Our conversation mostly revolved around books. I left the school and headed to work, sticking to the same routine until around ten at night.

On my way home, I heard shouting and commotion. I followed the noise and found Michael exchanging blows with two people! What was going on?! Why were they both fighting with one person?! Without a second thought, I leaped into the fray to support Michael.

To Be Continued....