Relentlessly Yours [Completed]

Chapter 7

Nicola, Age Seventeen
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Parang pinipiga ang puso ko habang tinititigan si Kai sa sports magazine. He just debuted from F4 to F3 driver. Isa din siya sa naglead sa unang race nila for this year's season in Australia.

I constantly followed his career the past two years. Alam ko pati pangalan ng lahat ng nga nag-interview sa kanya pati lahat ng kasama niya sa team. He's getting more and more attention like he always do. Kahit saan siya magpunta ay nasa kanya ang atensyon.

While I became the resident bitch who didn't have a single friend but my twin, Kai is slowly but surely conquering the world.

Ang unang taon mula 'nong umalis siya ang pinakamahirap. Pakiramdam ko ay araw-araw akong nalulunod sa lungkot at pag-iisa. Halos araw-araw ko ring tinawagan ang telepono niya pero hindi siya sumagot. Kahit na isang beses. Pagkatapos ng anim na buwan ay hindi na ako nakatiis at kinapalan na ang mukha't pumunta sa bahay nila para pakiusapan si Tita Okivia na tawagan siya. He answered, of course but refused to speak with me.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nagawa ko. Hanggang ngayon ay napapaisip ako kung may nagawa akong mali. Normal na normal lang naman ang lahat 'nong huling nagkita kami. He kissed me on the cheeks as usual and watched me as I sketched.

Parang panaginip nalang 'yon sa akin. It was like he just decided to disappear from my life.

Calum, Reid and Leyton always went together to watch him whenever there were no conflicts with their class schedules.

Hindi ako sumasama sa kanila kahit na ilang beses nila akong inaaya. Para saan 'pa? Kai never reached out to me. He never replied or answer my calls. Clearly, he didn't want to see me there. Ayaw 'kong ma-awkward or ma distract siya sa karera niya ng dahil lang sa akin.

Sa halip ay pumupunta ako ng mag-isa o minsan ay kasama si Daddy kapag wala siyang tiwala sa bansa na pupuntahan ko. Calum didn't know but our father said he will always support me as long as I take care of myself and be careful. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit ko nagagawa ang pagsusunod-sunod sa mga karera ni Kai sa iba't ibang bansa ng hindi pinoproblema ang pera.

The sad part is that I grew to resent my own twin in the past two years not only because I felt betrayed that he told me last minute that Kai was leaving, he also left me and actually went on his own at the airport. Hindi ko alam kung may katuturan ba ang betrayal na naramdaman ko pero ang alam ko lang, iniwan niya ako.

Not to mention, my usually seemingly oblivious and 'clueless' brother became the most attentive person in the world. But not to me, no. I may be his twin but even I was not worthy of his attention.

Kung may pagkakapareho man kami ng kambal ko ay 'yon ay kung paano kami magmahal.

Loud and with no care in the world. It was not a secret that my brother is in love with Atasha. Just like it's not a secret that I'm obsessed with Kai.

Kahit na dalawang taon na siyang hindi nakakauwi ng pilipinas ay hindi pa rin nawala ang mga usap-usapan tungkol sa amin. May nagpakalat pa na sinubukan kong magpakamatay nang umalis siya.

Hindi ko alam kung nalaman niya ang rumor na 'yon. Napapaisip pa ako kung naku-kwento ba ng nakababata niyang kapatid sa kanya ang mga usap-usapan dati 'nong highschool kami. His brother, Vlad, who is three years younger than us, was already in highschool when the rumor spread.

Throughout the years, it became more apparent how kids can be cruel, the meanest people on Earth. They continued calling me dirty because of the paint on my arms. They mocked me for not having friends. They joked a lot about how Kai left me behind. Those hurtful words drove me into the shadows, taught me to fend for myself when my twin couldn't fight the bullies and Kai couldn't be there for me anymore.