Him, Not Me

Where it Started and How it is

A/N: No specific warnings in this chapter. It's just a simple start to what will be coming up. NOTICE: This chapter had been edited and rewritten for the purpose of making the story smoother.
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Minho Pov:

Personally, I don't feel the need for many friends.I only had two for the longest time, and then I met this guy.

He first appeared out of nowhere as I danced in one of the building's practice rooms. His gaze didn't bother me since other people would stop by from time to time. While I took my break, he tried walking up to me, but someone called out to him from the door, and he left.

He came back the next day and watched me dance again. I had thought that his appearance was nothing more than sudden curiosity, but he showed up every day that week. The week after, he came up to me during one of my breaks. He began talking about how he loved the way I danced. He said that he had taken ballet as a child but never once tried Hip-Hop, and that he didn't think he'd ever be able to move the way I did.

He apologized for his behavior during the past week, worried that he had made me uncomfortable. I assured him that it was no big deal, I was used to people coming in to watch. After a bit of small talk about the past week we exchanged names.

"I'm Bang Chan."

"Lee Minho."

"It's nice to properly meet you Minho."

I learned a bit about him that day, mostly his name and age. He was a year older than me, so I treated him with the respect that followed. Before he left that day to go with his friend, he asked me if he could keep coming. I told him he was more than welcome to. He then left running saying that he'd see me soon.

After our first encounter, he would stop by. Every break he would call out to me, his big idiotic smile noticeable from across the room. I'd try my best to seem uninterested, claiming that I had forgotten his name again. To my surprise he would always laugh to brush it off, reminding me with each encounter. Eventually I gave in to his pleasantries and started seeing him as a potential friend.

I learned that he was in the same program I was in-not some random weirdo with nothing to do- except that he worked in music with two other boys, while I was in dance. I had also learned of his big friend group of 6. I thought that he was insane hanging around so many people, but he would always share the creasiest stories radiating happiness each time. It had me wondering if maybe this friend group of his wasn't as bad as I initially had thought.

After a month and a half of the weird friendship we had fostered, I found myself slowly letting him in. We became frequent guests in each other's homes, meeting family and pets, then eventually treating the environments like our own homes.

One day he told me that him and his friends were going to meet up and asked if I wanted to come to meet them too. In my mind, off instinct, I was going to say no. The last thing I wanted was that, but then I recalled how he would talk about them, so I thought I'd give it a chance.

We went to a small cafe around the block, where we found his five other friends. Since I was older than them things felt stiff after the formal introductions. Later on, as Chan made small talk with everyone the atmosphere seemed to change and become less tense.

As the next few months progressed, I had become much closer to Chan and his group of friends, eventually claiming them as my own. I was 18 and Chan 19.

*************

After I had graduated from high school, hyung and I applied for the same Uni. He was a little worried about the fact that he was starting later than most students, but I told him that it'd be alright. When we got accepted, we were able to get a dorm room together. I had become more comfortable with myself, changing my name and cutting my hair. Our first year at Uni was pretty calm. We spent our days getting used to the change and permanently being in each other's space. Learning things about the other we'd never tell anyone else.

The next year Changbin- one of our friends and Chan's music buddies- decided to join the same Uni. He wasn't able to get the dorm next to ours; it had been taken a week before he applied. It didn't become a big ordeal as he managed to get a decent 2-person suite in the building next door. The three of us would meet up and hangout during breaks and weekends, talking about professors and disturbing things we never wished we'd see with our own eyes.

Later, as if following in a line, our 00-line decided to apply as well. Hyunjin, Han, and Felix all seemed like quarreling siblings when they joined. Neither of them used to the close proximity that their 4-person dorm had to offer. You might be wondering, oh a 4-person dorm, did they have another person in the dorm? Well...yea, it's a 4-person dorm.

They day we offered to help them move in someone else was already in the dorm setting up his things. Kim Seungmin. His puppy like resemblance and big eyes made him seem innocent at first, but after a while in his presence he seemed more like a trickster than anything else. He became a big deal in the art department, his vocals were the talk of several people on campus. He managed to hit it off perfectly with his roommates. They all had similar personalities so becoming close friends in a close space was pretty easy. Changbin took his time with getting to know Seungmin, slowly he did become good friends with him as well.

I, on the other hand, didn't know how to respond to him. He isn't bad okay; I just didn't like how close he got to Chan. They hit it off fast. Chan became so attached to him that just the sudden drop of his name had him wagging his tail like a dog who finally got to see his owner after a long time. Eventually we stopped hanging out as much as we used to, and I rarely got to see him outside of the small 2-hour gap we had at night before I went to sleep. Seeing them hang out all of the time everywhere and anywhere bothered me more than I would like to admit.

Everything began to unfold once Jeongin had enrolled at the start of the year. He managed to share the 2-person suite with Changbin after his roommate moved out due to the constant working out and music production that "3racha" would do due to the large space. Jeongin happily took the opportunity and moved in. For a moment everything seemed to be going perfectly. The group was close, we were all doing exceptionally well in our classes, growing a strong bond. While Chan and I grew farther apart.

I don't know when Chan and I started becoming distant. I don't pay attention to the things that don't have to do with me; what doesn't fully circle my way. Yet, I knew it had to do with Seungmin. No, I do not hate Seungmin, he hasn't done anything on purpose, but I have grown a distaste to hearing his name.

Changbin came by unannounced one night, around 2 weeks ago. He asked if I was alone and if he could come in. It wasn't strange for him to come over while Chan wasn't around, but it was rare. I allowed him to come into the room. He seemed to be distracted, staring off into the unknown. Besides Chan, Changbin was one of the guys that I could really read. I mean it was easy his thoughts were always plastered onto his face.

As we walked through the room I spoke, "Sorry about the mess. Since Chan isn't here, I decided to clean around the room a bit you know?"

My words seemed to snap him out of the trance that he was in. He looked around as he sat on a chair laughing to himself due to the mess, softening a bit.

Recollecting himself a bit he began to speak, "Are you okay hyung? I've noticed how you and Chan don't really hang out anymore. Did something happen?"

Working on a pile of clothes on the other side of the room I kept my back facing him. Trying to regain my emotions.

"Hyung? Did you hear me?"

"Hmm...oh yea."

I could hear him get up slowly as if not to scare me. The atmosphere in the room became thicker with each step he took. He stopped his movements, thinking before saying his next few words, "Hyung, does it have something to do with Seungmin?"

I tensed. I could feel his eyes watching me. The shadow of his short frame reflecting on the wall made me feel trapped, stuck between faking confusion or admitting the truth. I turned around looking Changbin right in the eye. I could see it in his eyes, the ones that bored into me, telling me that he has known.

"He chose him, not me"

(A/N: I do not hate Kim Seungmin okay y'all TT. He's amazing, but yes, this story does have angst.)

Written: 5/23/2023

Rewritten/edited: 1/29/2025

Word count: 1644