It's okay baby || skz oneshots

Hurted him without knowing (chanmin)

Despite Seungmin having a boyfriend he felt more lonely than ever. Maybe because before, he didn't have a person he would desperately want to spend time with and now he had Chan.
He liked him ever since he saw him first but his little crush developed over time and when he finally decided to confess he was ecstatic when Chan said he felt the same. Everyone always said that Chan would be an amazing boyfriend, attentive, kind and his whole life would revolve around the lucky one that would become his significant other. Seungmin was now heavily doubting the truth of those words. Yes, Chan was amazing, he never did something Seungmin would be against but most of the time he just wasn't there. Another thing that frustrated him was that he couldn't even complain or talk to anyone as no one knew about their relationship.
For the first few days, maybe weeks, Seungmin felt like he had spent almost every second with him. Now he can't remember the last time they were together alone. Whenever he asks him if he wants to go somewhere, Chan says he either doesn't have time or already has plans. For three weeks until now, Seungmin was always asking him if they wanted to go somewhere out so he thought that maybe this was the problem. Chan maybe didn't want to go to public places with him. So Seungmin texted him to have a movie night together. He promised that they didn't even have to stay up so late, that they could just put on a shorter movie or one episode of some drama. He was so hopeful that he would be able to spend some time with his boyfriend cuddled up in bed. Then Chan responded that he already has plans with his friends.
Seungmin really had to fight hard with himself in order to stay calm and not break down. After he calmed down a bit he answered Chan with an okay.
He had no idea what was going on. Seungmin has never been in a relationship so he had no idea if this was completely normal or if Chan didn't like him. He really wanted to be a good boyfriend. Maybe he should cook for him or go to him and not just ask if they want to hang out. His mind began to spiral with shoulds and what ifs.

The next day they had a group practice at 4 pm until around 8 pm. That day Seungmin woke up a little earlier, made himself some breakfast and went to company for his schedules. He hadn't met any other members the whole day so he was actually looking forward to that dance practice to see them. But when he arrived no one was there. At first, he checked if he was at the right place at the right time and he found out he was. Then he checked their group chat, messages and missed calls to see if anyone texted or called but nothing. When he looked at the time he saw that they still had around five minutes so he just hoped that everyone simply had to arrive exactly on time. He put his things down and started to warm up.
When already 10 minutes passed from four o'clock he was even more confused than before. Even if other members were a bit late, Minho was always punctual and he would be already here. Seungmin really wanted to text to the group chat but he didn't want to be the one to tell others they're late so he told himself that he could wait at least 20 minutes. The others could easily get stuck in traffic or caught up in schedule. He just put on some songs to practice until everyone would arrive.
Seungmin got so caught up in dancing that he didn't even notice that already an hour had passed and no one had showed up. When he realised it he got a bit worried. What if something happened to them? The best option for him was to call Chan. After all, he was the leader so if someone knew something it would be him.
Chan picked up after around 10 beebs. ,,What is it?" he asked in not the most friendly tone. ,,Chan? Uhm, was the dance practice cancelled?" ,,Yes, I already told you. Minho, Lix and Hyunjin are busy with the choreographers so there is no reason for us to practice without them." ,,Oh, I'm sorry. I-" ,,Just pay attention next time." and he hung up. The only thing Seungmin was now able to think about was Chan's harsh tone. He had no idea when Chan told him that the practice was cancelled. In order not to break down he just resumed the music and kept dancing.
It was long after 9 pm when he decided that he had enough. He was exhausted and hungry, there would be nothing good coming from practicing more so he packed his back and left.
The first thing that welcomed him at the dorm was the noise. He could hear some talking and TV playing. When he passed the living room he could see everyone there. They were either on the couch or on the ground but the thing that caught his eyes was Chan and Felix snuggled on the couch together. That combined with Chan almost shouting at Seungmin today during the call was the breaking point for him. He didn't even tell them he was home and just went to his room. As soon as he closed the door the tears started rolling down his cheeks. He had no idea what was happening. Did Chan not like him? Did he just prefer Felix to him? Why did no one say that the practice was cancelled? Why didn't they invite him to the movie night? Did they also hate him?
He felt like he couldn't breathe. He started to scratch his arms to calm down and focus on something else. After he felt the burn of all the scratches he really did start to calm down. His breathing got more even and there weren't so many tears. Only after he calmed down did he see the damage he caused to himself. Both his arms were covered in scratch marks and blood coming from them. But he felt no emotion looking at it. He just simply got up, took his pajamas and went to shower. After he was done he just went to sleep. He didn't have to worry about the alarm clock as they had three days off, starting tomorrow.