not my body | park jongseong

four o'clock

y/n pov

"yes! and it's so awkward when we call like- we have nothing to talk about so it's silent and it doesn't help me fall asleep" i let gossip niki into some gossip.

honestly, these past few days have a been so exhausting trying weird things every night.

"i just got chills thinking about having to call jay every night" he shudders.

"exactly, you get it. i just wish there was an easy way to go back to how everything was..." i can't help but pout.

i seriously think this whole situation has taken a toll on all of us and i'm starting to feel guilty.

"dude, it's way past 4 and heeseung isn't here yet" niki starts complaining.

"it's fine, we have a lot written down anyway. when's your next club meeting? i wanna go again, it was fun" i open up to him.

it was actually really nice being able to talk comfortably to others, or at least these guys.

"friday, and you don't have to come with jay since you're in his body, it won't look weird" he adds on.

"it would look weird if i went there with my own body though?" i ask, a little sad about the fact.

i can't really get mad about it since it's true. everyone thinks of me as an outcast.

"wait- that's not what i meant. it's just since we've just started hanging out and stuff..." he tries to explain but jumbles up his words in the end.

"it's okay, you don't have to explain. i get that it looks odd. can i see what you've written down so far?" i change the subject quickly.

i don't want to make him feel bad.

"yeah, here" he hands me the paper nicely and we don't talk much afterwards.

some minutes pass and eventually heeseung makes his way over to us.

"wait, i think i got it! someone must've put a spell on you both, like wishing jay the worst or something like that" jake brings up as we're all at the table now.

"you almost made the librarian look over here, keep it down" jungwon scolds him slightly and jake pouts.

"so you're saying, i'm like a curse or something?" i deadpan at his idea.

"oh... no, like since you both have very different lives..." jake scratches his head awkwardly.

great, now i've made everything weird again.

i sigh.

"i didn't mean to say that, sorry. i'm not offended or anything, i promise" i give them a small smile and proceed to share my ideas.

"no, we should think before we speak up actually. anyway, should we all go somewhere this weekend, like after studying?" jungwon brings up to change the topic.

and so everyone started up a chatter about where to go then.

jungwon made sure to give me a reassuring glance to which i nod at and give him a thankful smile.

we all scatter once again but jay comes over to me instead.

"y/n, can i talk to you outside for a sec?" he asks almost a little too shy for my liking.

"sure" i tell him and we head over to the doors.

"so... what's up?" i ask him, feeling just a tiny bit awkward.

"about the book incident... i just don't want you to think i completely dismissed your idea. i was just really stressed at that time so i'm sorry for lashing out" he apologized.