Kidnapping Caper - A Tf2 Story

2 - Not So Brief Briefings

 "Gentlemen," a suave, French accent spoke from the darkness in the far corner of the meeting room, "I thank you all for coming so quickly. This is of utmost urgency." The faint glow of a cigarette gently illuminated the blue mask concealing the figure's face.

"You know, Spy, it'd be a little easier to have a meeting if you showed up at the same time as the rest of us," Scout complained. The entire group had been waiting for the meeting to start for the last twenty minutes, but in truth it was Scout who had been the late one.

"I wanted to make sure everyone was here before we began. And to correct you, sir, I have been standing here the whole time, unlike you," Spy explained in annoyance, "Anyway, I have brought you all here for a very important reason–,"

"A bear has taken the base and we must defend against it!" Soldier announced, interrupting Spy through gritted teeth.

Spy's expression of seriousness quickly dissolved into one of bewilderment. "What? No."

"The bear is a communist and trying to convert us to its dystopian, socialist ways!" Soldier continued, now shaking a fist angrily.

Spy heaved out a sigh, "No."

Soldier slammed a hand into the table in front of him and jabbed a finger in Heavy's direction, "Heavy is a bear!"

Spy shook his head in confusion, insisting, "Heavy is not a bear! There is no– where are you getting this?"

Just as Soldier began to shout another absurd claim, Demoman pulled the rumor-spreading man off the table by the back of his shirt and instructed, "Let the man finish, lad."

"Thank you, Tavish," Spy muttered, massaging his temples. As Soldier returned to his seat and Spy was sure he would cause no further interruptions, Spy continued his previous speech, "Now, as I was saying. We have received word that Red's Engineer has been developing a new weapon. However, this is no ordinary weapon. Our sources say it holds the firepower to wipe out all of Blu in one press of a button," he explained, slowly pacing the meeting room.

"Geez," Scout winced, "What's it do?"

"That–," Spy paused, taking a slow drag of his cigarette, "–we do not know," he admitted with a puff of smoke, "However, what we do know is that it is incredibly dangerous. And for this reason, we have been instructed to ensure this weapon cannot be used by Red."

"Well what do we know? That's in the realm of useful, I should say," Sniper asked, leaning forward onto the table.

"Well to start, we know it has yet to be built," Spy answered, "But that comes with both good and bad news. The good news is that Red cannot use their little device against us as we attempt to capture it since it is currently a mere blueprint. The bad news: if it is not built then this means we cannot simply destroy it."

"So, we must steal device that is not yet device. If Heavy understands this correct, then mission is not possible, no?" the large man wondered aloud.

"Sadly, yes. But fortunately, no!" Spy exclaimed, "That brings us to the plan. We will infiltrate the Red base and take the design straight from the source. If we kidnap Red's Engineer and force him to finish his design here, we can take the device. Once it is built, Mr. Dell, here, will be working alongside the kidnapped Engineer to fully understand and improve the design so we can use it as our own. Then, to ensure it cannot be recreated for Red afterward, we will hand him off to you, dear Medic. You get to brain-scoop the information from his mind and experiment on him to your heart's content. But before we can get there, we must first infiltrate the Red base and kidnap him."