Kidnapping Caper - A Tf2 Story

4 - Kidnapping Caper

 No patch of dirt, mud puddle, or blade of grass on the Red Base lawn was safe from the blinding searchlights that patrolled the grounds each night. They cast wide swaths of luminance which prowled like hungry tigers, ready to pounce at the first sign of life. If disturbed, the searchlights would activate a series of defense mechanisms, such as the hundreds of sentries posted to gun down intruders and an ear splitting alarm to rouse the Red team's members from their sleep. To get past the searchlights was a feat impossible to achieve for the average man. Fortunately, the three blue attired mercenaries crouching on the roof were no ordinary men.

"Wow, Spy, thanks for not taking forever to disarm those alarms. Good thing there wasn't an idiot about actively trying to trip them," Sniper griped, glaring at Soldier and Spy while wiping globs of mud off his face in disgust.

"Why thank you, Sniper, I could not have done it without you doing absolutely nothing while watching us from five miles away," Spy replied sarcastically, smoothing out the folds of his somehow still pristine suit.

"Yeah, appreciate the sarcasm, mate," Sniper snarked, setting his glasses back on his nose, "Especially after I saved you sorry wankas, that seems appropriate."

"Yes. We nearly died. Shall we move on, or do you wish to continue your incessant whining?" Spy asked in exasperation.

Sniper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm done."

"Thank you," Spy nodded, "Now, we move forward with the plan."

"Kill everyone in sight," Soldier growled, shaking an angry fist as he spoke.

"For the last time, Soldier, we are not killing anyone! Have you not listened to the plan once?" Spy seethed, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"I'm starting to think you should have dragged that twitchy, ankle-biting gremlin along instead of lead head here," Sniper whispered.

"I cannot believe I'm admitting this, but Scout would have been a better option, yes," groaned Spy, dragging a hand down his face. After a moment of pondering his choices, Spy turned to face Soldier. "I am only going to explain this one last time. Are you listening?"

Soldier held a stiff salute. "Affirmative!"

"Good," Spy encouraged, muttering a quiet 'that's a first,' before continuing. "Here is the plan. We are going to break into the air vents to get inside. We will be dropping into the hallway just outside of the Red engineer's workshop, as the vents do not continue inside. I will unlock the door and enter first. I will disarm his communications systems while inside. When I am finished, I will wave you both in. Sniper will stand guard and take care of anyone who tries to come in. You will find the engineer and incapacitate him," he explained.

"Got it!" Soldier shouted, "When does the neck snapping come in?"

"There is no neck snapping!" Spy hissed, "We need him alive! You will snap no necks! No neck snapping will occur! Do you hear me? Do not snap his neck!"

Soldier stared at Spy, seemingly dumb struck. "Your mouth is moving, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying, Frenchie."

Spy pulled at his mask, brimming with fury. "Gah! Fine! Sniper, you are now tasked with ensuring he does not snap the engineer's neck."

"Not while I'm scoped in, I'm not. I'm no chameleon, I can't have my eyes looking two ways. That's your job, fancy pants," Sniper chided.

"Fine, I will watch him," Spy huffed, glaring at Soldier.

"Back to the plan, dammit!" Soldier thundered, pounding a fist into his open palm, "What comes next?"

"After you knock him out? We leave. That was the end of the plan," Spy replied, "But to get that far we have to first go in and kidnap the engineer," he explained, sneaking to a large grate protruding from the roof, "Mr. Doe, if you would."