haha GI thoughts

Kaeya's Depressed Lmfao

another glass hit the counter as kaeya ordered yet another drink. There was a minor issue with hilichurls getting a little too close to the city that day and he was tasked to clear it out, although it wasn't difficult considering he had cleared them within minutes, but something had hit him: an emptiness, a longing, a sadness that came in waves, and so like he does with any other personal problem he went to angel's share to drink it away.

The small chime of the door's bell barely noticeable from the blur of voices that rang around kaeya's head, he had not been counting how many drinks he's had, all he knew was that it still wasn't enough to forget. A chair pulls up beside him at the bar, a familiar presence taking a seat but he pays them no mind instead choosing to drown himself more in his thoughts, "my? Not even going to bother greeting your old friend? Guess you really have forgotten me..." through the haze of the drunken voices that surrounds him, a familiar one cuts through, "... y/n?.." his voice small.

Clearing his throat, he straightens his back and dusts off non-existent lint from his  clothes as he flashes you a charming smile, one that had wooed over hundreds of men and women alike. "so the rumors were true? You really did make a return, and after all these years I'd begin to think you'd forgotten about lil ol' me" he says with a pout, swirling the death after noon in his hand while he stared at you with curiosity. Mind too muddied to think his old companion was actually sitting there with him.

You stared at him, amused at his state before you gave him a smile. Watching as he downed the drink in his hand, you asked him "wanna come walk with me?", kaeya stared at you, a walk? At this time? Despite his body feeling heavy from the alcohol he's been consuming, he took you up on your offer considering it would be dangerous for you to be out by yourself; ignoring the fact he was probably too wasted to fight off any danger you might come across, he stood up and placed a bag of mora on the counter before turning to you and offering his hand.

Rolling your eyes, you took his hand and brought him outside. You had no particular destination, only wishing to indulge in the night's cold breeze and the peace of the silence it brought with it. You two held no conversation as one's mind was too busy wandering and the other was too busy caving in on itself, taking in each other's presence even though he didn't fully think you were there, believing the alcohol had probably kicked in and now it's making him see things.

Not sure how you two ended up at the edge of a cliff, overlooking the ocean you had both taken a seat, Legs dangling with the waves almost reaching your feet. Kaeya stared into the distance, vision blurry and mind trapped in a haze, he almost didn't feel it when you grabbed his hand, but when you did oh did it all come crashing down. His breath hitched as the winds started blowing a bit harsher on his tan skin, you were actually there. It wasn't a trick of the eye, it wasn't the alcohol, hell it wasn't even because he thought this was his minds way of finally helping him find some sort of solace no, you were actually here beside him. "kaeya" your voice cuts through him like glass, and he made the mistake of looking towards you, you had been staring at him slready and when his eyes met yours, oh. The shine of the stars becoming more prominent in his eyes as he read yours, telling him that it's okay.

The dam breaks and the waves crashed against the rocks of the edge they sat on, body quivering as the wind grew colder, harsher. Lost in a troubled state, you reached out to embrace him and he fell into you the second he felt your warmth, and not the warmth he gets from drinking alcohol, fooling himself into thinking it might replicate the same one he used to feel long ago, when he was welcomed into the Ragnvindrs home, when he was accepted into the knights of favonius, when you held him in your arms. His body crashed onto yours while he broke down, and you held him up, his arms finding it's way around you while you cradled him unbothered by the squeezing grip he had on you.

He sat practically on your lap with his head buried in your neck, you had one arm around him rubbing circles on his back, while the other was busy running through his hair, "stay with me, hold my hand, there's no need to be brave" an old lullaby you would sing to him and him only. Everything he had gone through, he had no one to talk to about. After you left mondstat he was left alone, with no pillsr to lean on, no anchor to ground him, no shelter from the freezing cold that nipped away at his soul. Now you were back and you were in his arms, holding him like you did all those times he would wake up from a nightmare and both diluc and his dather would be asleep. He held you tighter; afraid that if he didn't then you would slip away again. He was so tired, everything had finally caught up to him that day and there wasn't anywhere he could run to anymore to escape it, the water beneath you two grew calmer yet still troubled.

The night was no longer cold and the water was finally still, his mind was quiet for once, and nothing else mattered. He didn't care if they were out in the open and vulnerable, nothing could hurt him while he was in your arms. It was midnight, everyone was asleep and so was he but you weren't, from the second you stepped into mondstat you knew something had happened while you were gone, and when you saw kaeya at the bar later on that evening you could see it, feel it, even that he was tired. The swirl of emotions in his eye, the grief and sadness, the guilt and longing, it pained you to think of what events might've occurred that he nor diluc wrote in their letters to you. Your body still swayed and you kept threading your fingers through his blue locks, humming a low tune of every song you used to sing to both him and diluc. The dawn slowly crept into the sky, slow and subtle as if to not scare the two of you awake.

It was when the sun rose from where it kissed the sea did kaeya start to wake, but feeling the subtle vibrations of your chest from the humming, your fingers weaving through his hair, and the gentle sway of your body, he did not open his eyes fearing that if he did all of this would come to an end. Kaeya Alberich was a reliable man despite his scheming personality, he would always be there for the people of mondstat no matter the issue; big or small. But at the end of the night, he walks alone, slowly passing by homes that housed endless laughter and joy the same echoes that once bounced off of his old home from morning till night. But now that you're here, he no longer has to walk alone; Not for a very long time. The cry of the bird reminds him that he still has a job to do. He lets out a sigh, one that relieved him of so many burdens that he had not known he was still holding onto like it was an essential part of him, a part he could not let go of. But you took his calloused hands and eased his grasp, letting him know it's okay not to hold onto it so tightly, that he doesn't have to be in pain to prove that he's trying to make up for damage he thought he did. The wind blows and with it carries the thoughts, the alcohol, and the tears. Kaeya Alberich is no longer alone.

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aha what dis is? no idea I'm tired lawl anyways, sorry if this is hard to read! I know jack shit about writing and writing properly but i couldn't get this idea out my head so..

I saw someone comment that they HC kaeya as suicidal so i wanted to subtlety hint at that here which i hope yall noticed</33

short context ur fam waw close with the ragnvindrs so you often played w eachtoerh but witu your family being in fontaine so often you practically grew up in their house too, ure older than the both of them by a few years like 2-3? Ig anwyays yoy left when you were 17 tho when ur family finally decides to move to fontaine

Apologies if this is poorly written! I wanted to polish it a little but i didn't want to drag the story any further</3 If you would like to do ur own play at this fic/scene go for it! (pls tag me hihi i wnana read) (also yes this was also inspired by a mitski song)